August the 1st

The first day of August. The month that I for once WON'T screw up.

Well, food wise, it went well. 

Food Diary:

Boiled cabbage 0.5 cup - 17 calories.

Steamed mixed veggies 50g - 14 calories.

Total: 31 calories.

I am allowing myself 100 calories a day this week. 

Also, the past week, I pretty much ate whatever the hell was in reach. Emotional eating. I weighed in today and I gained 3.7kg. I'm not extremely bothered by it though, because I KNOW I'll lose it, and hopefully more by the end of the month.

Moving on. 

I now understand about the control side of ED. I'm grasping onto mine more than ever, while I watch my life fall apart before my eyes.

I don't know what to do. I pretty much have no friends. I have to 'forfeit' my enrollment at school (in other words, I'm getting kicked out), which leads to having to 'forfeit' my enrollment at tafe, I barely speak to my family and I now have no idea what to do with my future. 

I just wish I had someone to talk to :\ I just want it all to be fixed. But it can't be fixed. Not that I can see.

Anyway, enough about my depressing life.

I hope August goes well for us.

- Kayla <3