Pretty tired, so just a quick update of how day 2 went.
I worked for the majority of the day again.
I didn't exercise.
Food wise, it wasn't great but it wasn't horrible. It was acceptable, I guess.
I feel like I'm sinking into a hole. I'm starting to need a change in scenery or something. But then I think, maybe I just need to get skinny. And that will be enough change in scenery. But a plus is that I will have confidence, or at least a little, which will result in people being friends with me and such.
I think that's it. The loneliness is getting to me. It just suddenly impacted me today. I think it's because I think one of my managers dislikes me. She's not my cup of tea either, but you know. It put a damper on my day. I know not everyone can get along with each other though.
I feel like I just need a good cry right now. I feel like I can't do anything right. Especially lose this fhucking weight!
Wow, maybe putting my scales away for the week wasn't the best idea? It needs to be done though.
Right now, I am just sick of life. I desperately need something to go well in my life.
I wish with all of my heart that I could find it in me to restrict like I used to. I don't know what has been switched off, that I can't seem to switch back on. I just constantly feel the need to eat. Not hunger though.
I'm never hungry anymore really. But I'm never full. Not even when I binge all day. It's like my stomach is a never ending pit.
I'll probably start only updating every week, the night of weigh in. I don't really have much to update about every other day.
Sorry for the horrendously long rant. I just needed to get some stuff off of my chest. I know I said it was just a quick update at the beginning ;P
I want to feel like a feather in the wind.
-Kayla <3
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