Friday, 29 April 2011

Was It Worth It?

So, Monday I was going strong. Then when dinner came around I decided, stuff it, I'm not going to count calories this meal, and so the food got stacked onto my plate. Then I had jelly. Then I had cup cakes. Then I had an apple. I JUST COULDN'T STOP!

That's when it all started. And now I can't stop. Binging that is.

So, Tuesday, I weighed in and had put on 0.8kg (1.76 lb). So, I decided to get back on track. So, that day, I had below my calorie limit and did some exercise. So that was a good day.

Wednesday rolled around and I had lost 0.3kg (0.66 lb) since the day before. I was back on track. I was doing fantastic that day. Only 50 cals for breakfast and 30 cals for lunch. I was so proud of myself. I had an apple before I went out and didn't plan to eat when I got home. But guess what. I did. I had a bowl full of spaghetti bolognaise. There was still some in the fridge. I just kept going back for more. I couldn't stop. Then I had an orange. Then more spaghetti bolognaise. Then two kiwi fruits. Then more spaghetti bolognaise. I went to bed feeling disgustingly full that night.

As you can imagine. I put on. I had put on 0.6kg (1.32 lb) since the previous day. So, I decided to fast until dinner. And I did. I then had dinner. And that's all I planned to have for the day. But there were left overs. And boy did I binge on that. Once again, I couldn't stop. I then had an apple. Then more left overs. Then another apple. Then more left overs. Then jelly. And yes. More left overs. I'm disgusting. That night I did some crunches and leg lifts, which I haven't been doing at all lately.

And that brings us to today. I weighed in and had put on 0.5kg (1.1 lb). I haven't eaten today. It's nearly 1pm. I only plan to have a 50 calorie meal before work and that's it for the day. Maybe a hot chocolate tonight. But I'm going to try not to.

I feel disgusting and I'm a failure. I don't know how I let myself go like that. Once I started I just couldn't stop. They only good thing that came out of this, is that I am now more determined. I want to lose 5.7kg (12.56 lb) in 24 days. Hopefully that is possible.

And no. It wasn't worth it.


Stay strong. We'll get there.
-Kayla <3

Saturday, 23 April 2011

GW1 acheived

As you can tell by the title of this post; I have achieved my GW1 :) I was super happy when I saw that I had achieved and actually gone under my first goal weight this morning :) I don't feel that now though, because I still have a long way to go.

I'm fasting today. My first fast on the ABC diet. It's going well. I just have to try and get out of dinner is all. It's not like they're going to make me eat. I don't think they will anyway.. I'm just going to say I'm not hungry. Or perhaps have a shower then.. good idea. ;)

Today my dad was asking me about my goal weight. Like what I want to get down to. I said " I don't know. Whenever I'm skinny." He said "well, you need to have a goal weight. What does that site say?" Me: "I'll have to look when I'm on the computer" Dad: "ok...   So when do we have to check you into a hospital? You know there's a fine line between healthy and anorexic." me: "mm." Dad: "that's why you need a goal weight. So you know when to stop" Me: "but what if I get to that goal weight and I'm still not skinny?" Dad: "well, then you can lower it a little bit. But you have to be careful."

My mum and dad then proceeded to discuss what a healthy weight for me is. They decided on 65kg (143.3lb). I was sitting there thinking. *omg! Are they serious! I want to be like 15kg (33.06lb) below that! O.O* My dad then asked what I thought of that weight. I said "idk. I s'pose. It depends if I'm skinny then or not"
Later, I told him what my BMI range for 'healthy' is. He was like ohh ok. (it's about 10kg lower than the goal weight he said)  He then said. "ok, so, what do you think a goal weight could be for you?" me: "I already told you.  I don't know." Dad: "well, are you at it now?" me: "no... do I look like I'm at it now?" Dad: "yes" Me: "well, no. I'm not skinny."

He also suggested that I go to dietitian to find out a good weight for me. I'm don't want to and I'm not going to one because what if they ask me what I eat and stuff.. I'd have to lie. I'm a terrible liar. I panic and go all red >.<

I want to be at my GW2 by my birthday. Which is in exactly a month :)


Keep strong, keep motivated, keep believing.
-Kayla <3

Monday, 18 April 2011

Ignoring someone is better than lying to them, right?

So, ABC day 2. It was a 100 calorie day for me today because of some swapping around. I had 93 calories and burnt 60. :)

This is what I ate:

205g (just under a cup) of Heinz Big Red Soup - 64 cals.
Roast lamb 20g - 29 cals.


Today my dad was asking me about food and stuff. He was like, so how many calories are you aloud? (he asked something before that but I can't remember what) I was drinking at the time and just kept drinking and by the time I was done I didn't have to answer. Thank goodness. I was trying to think quickly what a reasonable amount of calories that I could say, but I just didn't know what to say..

I have a headache at the moment. :\ 

And I'm craving just about everything. >.< But yet, I'm not tempted :)

Oh yes, my weigh in this morning. I lost 0.4kg (1.1 lb) since yesterday xD I am now 1.3kg (2.86lb) away from GW1 :)
I don't seem to be seeing any results though :\ I'm still all flabby and gross >.<

Exercise has been really frustrating lately. The first day I got my exercise bike, I did 45 minutes on it. But after that I can barely do 5 minutes -.-

Anyway, I hope I've lost more when I weigh in tomorrow morning :)

Stay strong, stay gorgeous :)
-Kayla <3

Sunday, 17 April 2011

ABC day 1

Day 1 of the ABC diet.

V8 vegetable juice 50mL - 10 cals.
Roasted carrots - 9 cals.
1 1/2 medium roasted potatos -236 cals.
Roast pork 100g - 143 cals.
Green beans boiled - 11 cals.
36 red seedless grapes - 72 cals.

Total - 481 cals.

I only did 4 mins on the exercise bike though. I just found it so hard to keep going.  I think I went too hard too fast when I first started :S >.< I burnt 56 calories though. :)

Tomorrow I'm aloud to have 100 calories. Normally it would be 500, but I had to switch a few days around because of social outings and what not. I've planned it out, so I if I don't eat anything other than what I've planned for then I'll be good :)

Oh! Also, I weighed in this morning and I am 76.7kg/169.09 lb. :) I lost 0.4kg/0.88 lb since yesterday :)

I plan to do 100 crunches and some leg lift exercises before bed tonight :)

I really need to tone up, but I'm not entirely sure how..


Stay strong hun's :)
-Kayla <3

It's time for a change

So, first things first. I didn't exercise today. But I did stay well under my calorie limit for today.  I plan to exercise twice as much tomorrow :)

Today I decided that I'm going to finish The Skinny Girl Diet at day 17.  I'm just not losing as much as I would like. So, I'm opting for the ABC Diet. I always stay well under my calorie limit anyway, so hopefully it won't be too much harder :)  The only difference is that I have to count fruit and vegetables as calories, which you didn't on The Skinny Girl Diet.

The only thing is I'll have to swap a few days around because of social events I am attending. The only thing I am worried about is the morning after I sleepover my friends, I'm going to have to have breakfast, (toast or something), and then I have a bbq lunch I'm going to that same day. I can restrict before the sleepover, but I'm worried about going well over at the bbq. I'll try and keep it small but convincible at the bbq.  ;)

Anyhoo, I also plan to keep taking pictures of every single thing that I eat from now on, and blogging them after I've eaten everything for that day.

Today I had 406 calories. All in dinner.

Come back for a new blog about my first day on the ABC Diet tomorrow :)  Wish me luck :3
Stay strong and believe.
-Kayla <3

PS. Here's some thinspo for you :) <3

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Happier, and food diary in pictures

Hey Hey :)

So, I weighed myself again a little after I posted that last blog, even though I had eaten and had had heaps of water. Well, it turns out the scales were reading wrong :) Like you know when you first get on them they read 0. Well they were reading 0.8kg. So yeah, maybe I didn't put on all that weight in the first place?  Anyhoo, it read 77.2kg/170.19 lb. So that's good :)

I also got a rowing/multiple other exercise machine and an exercise bike :) They're just second hand but at least I have something to exercise on now :) 

I burnt 657 calories, cycling today. I also did some arm exercises and some crunches. :)

Food diary in pictures:

Meal 1:
Free.

Meal 2:
97 cals.
Meal 3:
Forgot to eat.

Meal 4:
7 cals.

Meal 5:
Forgot to take a picture.
Crumbed fish fillet: 145 cals.
Corn on cob x2: free.
Half a boiled potato: free.
                                                                           Meal 6:
Free.


All this hard work better pay off :)

Stay strong and believe in yourselves my pretties :)
-Kayla <3

What happend?

So, if you follow me on twitter; you probably already know this. But anyways.

I weighed in this morning, and apparently I've put on 1kg/2.20 lb. yeah. Wtf? I did have more clothes on if that has anything to do with it. But surely not THAT amount of weight in clothes..  But anyway..

I've decided to try and get my motabloism going by eating every 2 hours but still staying in my calorie limit.  I'm going to take a picture of every single thing I put in my mouth today. Calories or not.  I also plan to drink at LEAST 1.5L a day. I've been bad at drinking water -.-

I'm really annoyed :\  It's a wholes week and a bit undone :\ I really don't know what happend. I ate only 136 calories AND I exercised.. blahh I don't know.

Just took a picture of meal 1. This meal plan better work. >.<

Stay strong my pretty's :)
-Kayla <3

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Rants

It's seriously like my family doesn't even care that I'm trying to lose weight and be healthy.. like they sit in front of me eating fricken mountains on ice-cream. Like I'm not tempted by it but seriously. And they serve unhealthy dinners and have loads of junk food in the kitchen. It's like they don't even care about their bodies. They're all obese and they're not even trying to do anything about it. It just annoys me. And to be honest it kind of embarrasses me to be with them in public. They're great thinspo though. I just have to watch them eat and it turns me right off.

My parents keep saying they're going to get some equipment for me to use but they just keep putting it off :\
I spoke to my mum about joining a gym but she doesn't want me to I suppose.. I think she might be jealous that I'm trying to do something about my weight and have quite a large result. Like that's so obnoxious to say, but I feel that kind of vibe coming from her.

I know all of that is horrible to say, but I just wish they would try and do something about their weight.. I've tried getting them to diet (normally) with me and all that but nope, they wouldn't budge.

Don't take me wrong. I love them. But I just, just ughh.

Sorry for the huge rant. I just needed to get my feelings and frustrations out.

Lets move on now shall we?

First of all; sorry I haven't posted in so long! I haven't really had anything interesting to blog about really..

I've been losing weight everyday for a while now :) BUT I weighed myself this morning and I put on 0.2kg/0.44 lb. because I ate so so so so soooo much yesterday >.<

I want to be 70kg/154.32 lb. by the 23rd of May :) So in order to be that I need to lose 7.4kg/16.31 lb. in a little under 6 weeks.

Aww, I just had a beautiful moment with my sister :) It put me in a better mood <3 And makes me want to backspace on all the horrible things I typed up there.. :\ 

Ughh. I feel so fat today. I just want to be skinny! Why can't I get there sooner?! But when I do get to my goal weight I'm going to be all un-toned if I don't start exercising. Ughh.

Oh by the way, I just remembered that I was going to start taking pictures of all the calorie foods I eat. I'll post a blog of them every day so stay tuned ;)

I better stop boring you and leave you to your day :P

Stay strong my pretty's :)
-Kayla <3

Monday, 4 April 2011

The Jelly

I just shocked myself. I went to the fridge to have some watermelon, but there wasn't any left. That's when I spotted the jelly. It's only 7 cals per serving, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't eat it. I guess I'm starting to associate food as bad. I only eat fruit and vegetables casually now (not a huge amount though. But the point is I don't feel guilty after I eat them), ever since I started 'The Skinny Girl Diet'. I'm keeping well under the daily calorie limit also. The only bad part is I'm not really losing any weight.. it's so frustrating.. >.<

Does anyone have any cardio exercises I can do in the privacy of my home? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. :)

On another note; today I feel fatter than usual. Ughh. I just want to be thin already! D':

Oh about school. I decided I'm going to stay put. I love the community I have their too much.

I really want to lose more than I am in a week :\ maybe I'm just disappointed because I've been weighing myself everyday?...

Stay strong and keep believing :)
-Kayla <3

Sunday, 3 April 2011

Unneeded, unwanted, unloved.

The title of this post, is how I am feeling right now.
I feel like my two 'best friends' at school are going off on their own and having fun. Like they don't want me around anymore. That hurts.
But at the same time, I'm kind of happy about it. For me, it means I won't feel guilty when I move on. I've wanted to try out a different school for a while now, and I think this is my opportunity.
I'm going to talk to the youth worker at school tomorrow. I don't know how to word it though. I'm thinking something along the lines of; "So you know how we were talking the other day. About school and stuff. I think maybe you're right. Like I don't know about the challenging part, but I don't know..  I feel like I maybe want to try going to a different school..?" How does that sound?.. Any suggestions would be appreciated. :)

Anyway, now to my eating and what not. Today, all I've had is a large orange and water. That filled me up quite a lot. But I'm still getting head spins when I stand up >.<

I'm saving all of my calories that I'm aloud to have today on 'The Skinny Girl Diet' for tonight, because we're having a roast chicken with roast veggies and what not.

On another note; I am craving white bread and watermelon so bad! D: (not together of course ;P)

Now on to exercise.. hmm.. It hasn't been THAT great.. I've been doing 100-500 sit up/crunches a day. And different kind of leg lift exercises. But I haven't really been doing any cardio >.< I wish I had a treadmill or exercise bike or something.. I really need to do some though.. What do you guys do?

Oh and my weight as of this morning is 78.5kg/173.06 lb. My reward for reaching 75kg/165.34 lb. is white skinnies :) or if not, just something I want. Maybe something to help me with exercise? :)

Sorry for the long post :3

Stay strong and believe in yourself :)
-Kayla <3

*Thinspiration found on google images*

Friday, 1 April 2011

New Diet

Long time no post..

Well, since I last posted, I put on a couple of kilos. But I lost them now :)  At the moment I'm at 78.8kg/173.72 lb.

Anyhoo, yesterday I started a new diet that I found on 'The Red Bracelet Project' It's a take off of the ABC diet I believe. Anyway, I quite like it and it seems to be working :) Since yesterday I've lost 0.8kg/1.76 lb. :)

I also entered a competition to see who can lose the most weight and what not. This is the link if you want to enter:  http://proanalove-sunshinechild.blogspot.com/p/super-slim-down-competition-2011.html  I highly doubt I'll win, but it's good motivation :)

I've been doing lots of crunches and different kinds of leg lifts too :) I just wish my parents would hurry up and get that exercise bike they said they'd get >.<

I'll try and post more often. It's just that I don't really have anything interesting to blog about :P

Chow for now ;)
And don't forget to believe :)
-Kayla <3