Was It Worth It?

So, Monday I was going strong. Then when dinner came around I decided, stuff it, I'm not going to count calories this meal, and so the food got stacked onto my plate. Then I had jelly. Then I had cup cakes. Then I had an apple. I JUST COULDN'T STOP!

That's when it all started. And now I can't stop. Binging that is.

So, Tuesday, I weighed in and had put on 0.8kg (1.76 lb). So, I decided to get back on track. So, that day, I had below my calorie limit and did some exercise. So that was a good day.

Wednesday rolled around and I had lost 0.3kg (0.66 lb) since the day before. I was back on track. I was doing fantastic that day. Only 50 cals for breakfast and 30 cals for lunch. I was so proud of myself. I had an apple before I went out and didn't plan to eat when I got home. But guess what. I did. I had a bowl full of spaghetti bolognaise. There was still some in the fridge. I just kept going back for more. I couldn't stop. Then I had an orange. Then more spaghetti bolognaise. Then two kiwi fruits. Then more spaghetti bolognaise. I went to bed feeling disgustingly full that night.

As you can imagine. I put on. I had put on 0.6kg (1.32 lb) since the previous day. So, I decided to fast until dinner. And I did. I then had dinner. And that's all I planned to have for the day. But there were left overs. And boy did I binge on that. Once again, I couldn't stop. I then had an apple. Then more left overs. Then another apple. Then more left overs. Then jelly. And yes. More left overs. I'm disgusting. That night I did some crunches and leg lifts, which I haven't been doing at all lately.

And that brings us to today. I weighed in and had put on 0.5kg (1.1 lb). I haven't eaten today. It's nearly 1pm. I only plan to have a 50 calorie meal before work and that's it for the day. Maybe a hot chocolate tonight. But I'm going to try not to.

I feel disgusting and I'm a failure. I don't know how I let myself go like that. Once I started I just couldn't stop. They only good thing that came out of this, is that I am now more determined. I want to lose 5.7kg (12.56 lb) in 24 days. Hopefully that is possible.

And no. It wasn't worth it.


Stay strong. We'll get there.
-Kayla <3