Please don't let this be a plateau

I gained 0.1kg today. I hope this doesn't mean that I'm going to be stuck at around that weight. Plateau's suck.

Anyway, I am having a free day tomorrow, I'm scared that I'll put on weight, but hopefully I lose it pretty fast, like last time :)  I'll hopefully be fasting on Sunday.

I didn't drink nearly enough water today >.<

Anyway, not much else to talk about for now :P

Food diary:

Dinner: Sliced tomato -14 calories.
            Mince - 117 calories.
            Salsa - 30 calories.
            Taco seasoning mix - 9 calories.
            Lettuce leaves - 16 calories.

Snack: Frozen cordial ice cup - 11 calories.

Total: 197 calories.

Keep on believing.
-Kayla <3

Quick update, new LW and food diary

I weighed in at my lowest weight today :)  I am now at 68.5kg (151.01 lb) 

Not really much else to tell you guys about.. so.. let's move onto my food diary.

Food diary:

Snack: Frozen cordial ice cup - 11 calories.

Dinner: Rice - 117 calories.
           Chicken korma sauce - 53 calories.

Total: 181 calories.


Stay strong, no matter what your situation is.
-Kayla <3

New LW!

I hit my lowest weight when I weighed in this morning :D
I am now at 68.9kg (151.89 lb) :D This may seem a lot to some of you, but for me, well, it's the lightest I've been in years, so yeah. :D

I had over 6 hours of work today, so I would of burnt a hell of a lot of calories :D

Food Diary:

Lunch: 2 peices of toast - 144 calories.
           2g butter - 12 calories.
           1 egg white - 15 calories.

Dinner: Potato bake (only a little bit) - 18 calories.

Snack: - Frozen cordial ice cup - 11 calories.

Total: 200 calories.

I hope the weight loss keeps up :D
-Kayla <3

Chanting in my head

Today I kept under my calorie limit.

I don't have too much to update about.. So.. here's today's food diary :)

Food Diary:

Snacks: 3 (not all at once) frozen cordial ice cups - 35 calories.

Dinner: 0.5 crumbed fish filet - 72 calories.
            Hot potato chips (baked) - 82 calories.

Total: 189 calories.

I keep saying chants in my head to keep me going :P  Whatever it takes, I guess :3

Keep believing,
-Kayla <3

Bribery

Today, I water fasted until dinner. I'll write my food diary after I ramble for a little while.

I also exercised today. I burnt over 100 calories :) It was tough though, I hadn't exercised in days >.<

I am slightly less dehydrated today, but still a little.

I always seem to get cravings late at night/early in the morning >.<

I'm bribing myself, saying that if I get through the week, with keeping to my calorie limit, I'll reward myself at the end of the week. If I break. No reward.

Food Diary:

Dinner: 1 sausage - 135 calories.
            0.5 cup of cabbage - 17 calories.
            Tomato sauce - 20 calories.

Dessert: Frozen cordial ice cup - 13 calories.

Total: 196 calories.

Stay strong, no matter what you're feeling.
-Kayla <3

Getting back on track

Today I successfully water fasted :)  Although, I need to remember to drink more water >.<   I barely drank any today and I am ridiculously thirsty. It's a tad bit too late to consume anything though.

I just have to make it through the night now. We all know what happened last night >.<

Hopefully I've lost a bit or all of what I put on from last night..

Not going to eat until dinner tomorrow night, hopefully. Or only have a frozen ice cup, if I need it to keep me going, or I need to occupy myself to avoid dangerous food.

I didn't end up exercising today though >.<  I woke up late, like super late. 2:30pm late.  My dad was watching the tv, and then relatives showed up. So I couldn't use the Wii for exercise >.< It's the one thing that pushes me to not give up after 5 minutes.. I AM going to do some tomorrow though. Or I won't eat. Deal.

I hope your day is going/went well :)
-Kayla <3

I just want to be empty again

I binged. Alot. I'm so full D:  I wish I could purge :\  Nothing ever comes up though :\

I've decided I'm going to water fast tomorrow, as planned, and then liquid fast or continue water fasting until I'm back at my LW.

I'm such a failure :\

But that's the last of this binging nonsense for August.

I just really want to be able to eat like a normal person :\ Tonight, at work, there were so many skinny pretty girls eating whatever they wanted. Ughh.
I keep telling myself that I'll be able to do that when I'm at my GW. But I know I won't be able to. I'm in too deep now.

I feel like I need a hug.

Keep me strong..
-Kayla <3

I won't let one night ruin the whole month

So, my family decided to have Chinese take away for dinner tonight. I ate it. It is my favourite food D:  Oh well, at least it had veggies in it, guess. So it was some-what healthy.. But still.

ANYWAY! To make up for it, I am going to water fast tomorrow, and I also burnt heaps of calories running around for four hours at work tonight. AND I am going to do three workouts on the Wii tomorrow :)

Oh, also, when I got home from work, I was SOOOOO close to binging. The only reason why I didn't binge was because we are out of the food that I usually devour when I binge.

I weighed in this morning, and I was at a new LW :) Just.  I weighed in at 69.2kg (152.55 lb).


I also weighed myself tonight, it wasn't that much more, and I had just drank heaps of water, and hadn't gone to the bathroom in like 5-ish hours, so hopefully, eating that dinner didn't make me put on weight. I reeeallly hope it didn't. :\


Food Diary:

Lunch: Frozen cordial ice cup - 13 calories.

Dinner: Chinese take away - unknown.

Total: Alot.



August weight loss: 3.8kg (8.37 lb)



We CAN do this.
-Kayla <3

So thirsty

I am ridiculously thirsty, but I just can't seem to quench it D:

Anyway, last night.. or today really, I had a dream about going on a McDonald's binge. >.<

I have been craving everything today. I just miss flavour so much D: Vegetables don't really have all that much flavour.. but they're low calorie..

Tonight I've been trying to figure out my meals and what not for next week. I'm still working on it. It's hard >.<

Today's Food Diary:

Lunch: 2 frozen cordial ice cups - 26 calories.

Dinner : Stir fry vegetables - 12 calories.
             Tomato sauce - 60 calories.

Total: 98 calories.

Also I am at my LW from two or so weeks ago :)  So, hopefully I'll be at a totally new LW tomorrow :D Seeing the numbers on the scale is seriously the only thing that stops me from binging.

August weight loss: 3.7kg (8.15 lb)

Stay strong.
-Kayla <3

I was so close to ruining it

I nearly went over my calorie limit today. But luckily I didn't eat much in the day, so it still fit into my calorie limit. Just.
I was at my friends, and they just kept eating and eating. It was ridiculous! I was jealous that they could eat whatever and not feel guilty, but not jealous of them, they're not exactly.. thin.. It's funny, because I used to be the fat friend with them, but now I'm the skinny friend. Even though I'm not skinny. If that helps you picture the scenario at all :P

I'm nearly at a new LW again! :D  I SHOULD be at it by tomorrow morning :)

Food Diary:

Lunch: Pineapple diced - 13 calories.
           Strawberries diced - 9 calories.

Dinner: White sandwich bread, 1 slice - 70 calories.
             Margarine - 3 calories.
             Vegemite - 2 calories.

Total: 97 calories.

August weight loss, so far: 3.3kg (7.27 lb)

Take care loveys :)
-Kayla <3

Just A Quick Update and Food Diary

I told my mum that I'm not going back to school. My parents are currently looking into homeschooling. I doubt they'll let me do it though.

Anyway, this morning I was in too much of a rush, so I didn't weigh myself.

Food Diary:

Breakfast: 1 egg white - 15 calories.
                31g mixed vegetables - 8 calories.

Lunch: Pineapple and strawberries - 22 calories.

Dinner: 2 egg whites - 30 calories.

Total: 75 calories.




Job well done, again :)  Although, I'm pretty dehydrated. >.<

I don't have all that much to say today.

Just keep smiling :)
- Kayla <3

Life changing decisions

I'll post my food diary in this post after I blabber about some stuff :P

Today I decided I am going to 'forfeit' my enrollment at my current school, but I haven't told anyone yet. I also gave my mum a web address to a potential homeschooling school. If I don't get into that, I'm either going to study something at tafe or find a full time job. I'm finally at peace with my decision. I'm going to talk to my mum about dropping out of my current school, on the way to tafe tomorrow. Hopefully if I do homeschooling, I'll be able to continue that tafe course.

Anyhoo, now onto the weight stuff.

I weighed in this morning. I've lost 1.6kg (3.52 lb) since yesterday. :D I think that's quite good. It's probably water weight, but at least the numbers going down :)

Food Diary:

Boiled cabbage 0.5 cup - 17 calories.

Steamed mixed veggies 50g - 14 calories.

Total: 31 calories.

The same as yesterday :)

I hope all is well for everyone :)

-Kayla <3

August the 1st

The first day of August. The month that I for once WON'T screw up.

Well, food wise, it went well. 

Food Diary:

Boiled cabbage 0.5 cup - 17 calories.

Steamed mixed veggies 50g - 14 calories.

Total: 31 calories.

I am allowing myself 100 calories a day this week. 

Also, the past week, I pretty much ate whatever the hell was in reach. Emotional eating. I weighed in today and I gained 3.7kg. I'm not extremely bothered by it though, because I KNOW I'll lose it, and hopefully more by the end of the month.

Moving on. 

I now understand about the control side of ED. I'm grasping onto mine more than ever, while I watch my life fall apart before my eyes.

I don't know what to do. I pretty much have no friends. I have to 'forfeit' my enrollment at school (in other words, I'm getting kicked out), which leads to having to 'forfeit' my enrollment at tafe, I barely speak to my family and I now have no idea what to do with my future. 

I just wish I had someone to talk to :\ I just want it all to be fixed. But it can't be fixed. Not that I can see.

Anyway, enough about my depressing life.

I hope August goes well for us.

- Kayla <3