Pretty tired, so just a quick update of how day 2 went.
I worked for the majority of the day again.
I didn't exercise.
Food wise, it wasn't great but it wasn't horrible. It was acceptable, I guess.
I feel like I'm sinking into a hole. I'm starting to need a change in scenery or something. But then I think, maybe I just need to get skinny. And that will be enough change in scenery. But a plus is that I will have confidence, or at least a little, which will result in people being friends with me and such.
I think that's it. The loneliness is getting to me. It just suddenly impacted me today. I think it's because I think one of my managers dislikes me. She's not my cup of tea either, but you know. It put a damper on my day. I know not everyone can get along with each other though.
I feel like I just need a good cry right now. I feel like I can't do anything right. Especially lose this fhucking weight!
Wow, maybe putting my scales away for the week wasn't the best idea? It needs to be done though.
Right now, I am just sick of life. I desperately need something to go well in my life.
I wish with all of my heart that I could find it in me to restrict like I used to. I don't know what has been switched off, that I can't seem to switch back on. I just constantly feel the need to eat. Not hunger though.
I'm never hungry anymore really. But I'm never full. Not even when I binge all day. It's like my stomach is a never ending pit.
I'll probably start only updating every week, the night of weigh in. I don't really have much to update about every other day.
Sorry for the horrendously long rant. I just needed to get some stuff off of my chest. I know I said it was just a quick update at the beginning ;P
I want to feel like a feather in the wind.
-Kayla <3
Tuesday 17 April 2012
Monday 16 April 2012
Giovanni's 30 Day 1
I decided to do 'Giovanni's 30' diet instead of SGD. I feel like because it is new to me, that I will be more likely to stick to it. Hopefully anyway.
It's a cross between ABC, SGD and the apple diet.
This is the plan;
It's a cross between ABC, SGD and the apple diet.
This is the plan;
I also planned on restarting the 30 Day Shred today, but today was ridiculously busy. I had work from 5am-1:45pm. Then I came home and got changed and had some fruit, then went back to work for a meeting for a couple of hours. When I got home it was too late to do it :( SO! I am going to do double tomorrow :) Promise.
So, fruit and vegetables don't count as calories on this diet. I was originally going to count them, but I'm going to see how this goes, not counting them, for a week, if I lose a good amount I'll continue, if not, I'll start counting them.
I have also put away my scales, I am going to start weighing myself every Monday, not everyday. Hopefully this will ward off the binges.
Starting weight for this diet is; 162.4 lb (73.6kg)
I've started weighing myself in pounds instead of kg. Hopefully it makes it look like a bigger loss, which makes me keep soldiering on. :) It also keeps me somewhat oblivious to how much I weigh in kg, until I convert it.
New plans are the path to new success.
-Kayla <3
Saturday 14 April 2012
Texting buddies? :) & bad news all round.
I messed up on ABC again.
Going to start Skinny Girl Diet on Monday, but I AM going to count the calories of fruit and veggies. Otherwise I am just going to overeat on them.
I also haven't done the 30 Day Shred in about 4 days. So I'll start that all over again on Monday as well. I actually really like it. I just got busy and lazy.
I was thinking of doing a replacement diet with the shakes and stuff, but I'm not sure if I want to spend all of that money every week. I'm just going to try and restrict until my birthday (23rd May), then have a little treat for my birthday, then straight back to restricting until I am at 50kg or less.
I feel like I need a texting buddy again (my previous one is having to deal with family finding out atm :\ STAY STRONG BOW!) So, if you would like to be my texting buddy, preferably from Australia (because of costs) then comment or email me at iwillbebeautiful@gmail.com
Having someone always there for you to text is kind of like a little bit of healthy competition :D I found that it kept me on track :)
One way or another.
-Kayla <3
Going to start Skinny Girl Diet on Monday, but I AM going to count the calories of fruit and veggies. Otherwise I am just going to overeat on them.
I also haven't done the 30 Day Shred in about 4 days. So I'll start that all over again on Monday as well. I actually really like it. I just got busy and lazy.
I was thinking of doing a replacement diet with the shakes and stuff, but I'm not sure if I want to spend all of that money every week. I'm just going to try and restrict until my birthday (23rd May), then have a little treat for my birthday, then straight back to restricting until I am at 50kg or less.
I feel like I need a texting buddy again (my previous one is having to deal with family finding out atm :\ STAY STRONG BOW!) So, if you would like to be my texting buddy, preferably from Australia (because of costs) then comment or email me at iwillbebeautiful@gmail.com
Having someone always there for you to text is kind of like a little bit of healthy competition :D I found that it kept me on track :)
One way or another.
-Kayla <3
Wednesday 4 April 2012
ABC & 30 Day Shred Day 3
I fucked up day 3.
I did do my 30 Day Shred workout though.
It's day 4 at the moment, I'll make a new blog post about it either tonight or tomorrow morning.
Eating my calories in liquids today. Or I plan to anyway.
It's my dogs birthday today. I love him.
Weight of Day 3: 70.6 (155.64 lb)
Weight-loss since day 2: 0.4kg (0.88 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 1.2kg (2.64 lb)
Help me believe.
-Kayla <3
I did do my 30 Day Shred workout though.
It's day 4 at the moment, I'll make a new blog post about it either tonight or tomorrow morning.
Eating my calories in liquids today. Or I plan to anyway.
It's my dogs birthday today. I love him.
Weight of Day 3: 70.6 (155.64 lb)
Weight-loss since day 2: 0.4kg (0.88 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 1.2kg (2.64 lb)
Help me believe.
-Kayla <3
Tuesday 3 April 2012
ABC Day 2 & 30 Day Shred Day 2
Sorry that this post is a little later than usual. I was wayyy too tired to write it last night. I had to get up for work at 4am.
I did the 30 Day Shred workout as soon as I got home from work at 9am. Going strong with the exercise.
The struggle was the food. I wanted to just eat.
I kept within my calorie limit though. With some difficulty. I guess I'm not as in the right head space as I thought I was.
I just need to get through the first few days or the first week, then I'll be fine. Hopefully.
Food diary:
Breakfast;
Wholemeal bread
Tomato sauce.
Half a slice of lite cheese.
Lunch;
Veggies with teriyaki sauce.
Snacks;
4 cordial ice cups.
Veggies with cheese sauce.
Small apple.
Dinner;
Uncle Toby's Oats.
Total: 498 calories.
Limit: 500 calories.
Net: 240 calories.
I'll post again tonight, about today.
Oh also, I was going to take a picture of my weight everyday, but I've forgotten for the past 2 days. I'll try and remember to do it everyday, it's hard when I have to get up at 4am though :P
Don't give up. Don't give up. Don't give up.
-Kayla <3
I did the 30 Day Shred workout as soon as I got home from work at 9am. Going strong with the exercise.
The struggle was the food. I wanted to just eat.
I kept within my calorie limit though. With some difficulty. I guess I'm not as in the right head space as I thought I was.
I just need to get through the first few days or the first week, then I'll be fine. Hopefully.
Food diary:
Breakfast;
Wholemeal bread
Tomato sauce.
Half a slice of lite cheese.
Lunch;
Veggies with teriyaki sauce.
Snacks;
4 cordial ice cups.
Veggies with cheese sauce.
Small apple.
Dinner;
Uncle Toby's Oats.
Total: 498 calories.
Limit: 500 calories.
Net: 240 calories.
I'll post again tonight, about today.
Oh also, I was going to take a picture of my weight everyday, but I've forgotten for the past 2 days. I'll try and remember to do it everyday, it's hard when I have to get up at 4am though :P
Don't give up. Don't give up. Don't give up.
-Kayla <3
Sunday 1 April 2012
ABC Day 1 & 30 Day Shred Day 1
I'm back guys! :D
I wouldn't say I'm totally over the binge phase yet though. I must admit, as the day went on I had to talk myself out of eating a whole lot more. But one day at a time. Once I get through this week, then I'll be fine.
And yes guys, I have gained weight. A lot. I'm higher than I was at the start of the year. But that's just what I get for eating 2000-5000 calories everyday for a month and a half.
I also started the 30 Day Shred today! :D I nearly gave up at the beginning. But I pushed through it and it was over before I knew it!
Although, I STILL suck at push ups. A lot.
Breakfast:
Nothing.
Lunch:
Uncle Toby's Creamy Honey quick sachet of oats. Made with water.
Snacks:
Apple, medium.
Roasted cauliflower.
Dinner:
Sourdough roll with tomato, lettuce and cheese on it.
Spicy tomato soup.
Total: 496 calories.
Limit: 500 calories.
Net: 326 calories.
On a totally different note; my sister is trying to lose weight. She is obese. She is dieting with her fiance. This week, he lost more than her (I don't know about over all or anything) and she is pissed. She doesn't understand why she isn't losing more, because she is the bigger of the two.
I think it is because one, male metabolisms are naturally faster. And two, he does more moving around than her. He works 5 days a week, doing something with delivery or stock or something and she work 1-2 days a week, in like 3 hour shifts, either standing not doing much, or not putting much effort into picking up clothes. So, it's totally understandable why he is losing more. But she doesn't see that.
And what scares me is that she only eats 700-800 calories. I REALLY don't want her to have to go through an eating disorder.
Plus, I think because I am lighter than her, and lose weight pretty fast, she thinks because she is bigger than that should be easy peasy for her. Plus I tell my family when they ask that I eat about 1000-1200 calories. So she thinks that she is eating way less and not getting anywhere.
I don't know how to help her without admitting my deepest darkest secret.
Anyway! Enough of that little rant there! :P
I have a weight-loss plan set out for where I want to be at in a week ect. I want to have lost 5kg this week. I think it's doable, considering I lost a little under 5kg in the first week of ABC last time. The difference being I'm exercising this time. So hopefully I'll lose a little more this time around :)
Trying not to put pressure on myself though.
ABC starting weight: 71.8kg (158.29 lb)
Can't take it back, it's too late.
-Kayla <3
I wouldn't say I'm totally over the binge phase yet though. I must admit, as the day went on I had to talk myself out of eating a whole lot more. But one day at a time. Once I get through this week, then I'll be fine.
And yes guys, I have gained weight. A lot. I'm higher than I was at the start of the year. But that's just what I get for eating 2000-5000 calories everyday for a month and a half.
I also started the 30 Day Shred today! :D I nearly gave up at the beginning. But I pushed through it and it was over before I knew it!
Although, I STILL suck at push ups. A lot.
Breakfast:
Nothing.
Lunch:
Uncle Toby's Creamy Honey quick sachet of oats. Made with water.
Snacks:
Apple, medium.
Roasted cauliflower.
Dinner:
Sourdough roll with tomato, lettuce and cheese on it.
Spicy tomato soup.
Total: 496 calories.
Limit: 500 calories.
Net: 326 calories.
On a totally different note; my sister is trying to lose weight. She is obese. She is dieting with her fiance. This week, he lost more than her (I don't know about over all or anything) and she is pissed. She doesn't understand why she isn't losing more, because she is the bigger of the two.
I think it is because one, male metabolisms are naturally faster. And two, he does more moving around than her. He works 5 days a week, doing something with delivery or stock or something and she work 1-2 days a week, in like 3 hour shifts, either standing not doing much, or not putting much effort into picking up clothes. So, it's totally understandable why he is losing more. But she doesn't see that.
And what scares me is that she only eats 700-800 calories. I REALLY don't want her to have to go through an eating disorder.
Plus, I think because I am lighter than her, and lose weight pretty fast, she thinks because she is bigger than that should be easy peasy for her. Plus I tell my family when they ask that I eat about 1000-1200 calories. So she thinks that she is eating way less and not getting anywhere.
I don't know how to help her without admitting my deepest darkest secret.
Anyway! Enough of that little rant there! :P
I have a weight-loss plan set out for where I want to be at in a week ect. I want to have lost 5kg this week. I think it's doable, considering I lost a little under 5kg in the first week of ABC last time. The difference being I'm exercising this time. So hopefully I'll lose a little more this time around :)
Trying not to put pressure on myself though.
ABC starting weight: 71.8kg (158.29 lb)
Can't take it back, it's too late.
-Kayla <3
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