Biggest binge in the history of binges

Yesterday was horrible.

I had a tea before work. I then was like "oh, why not just have a chocolate yogurt too"

I then worked for 4 hours.

I then bought a ridiculous amount of food after work.
I put most of it in my bag before my mum saw it. I only ate one thing in the car with her. She then went to work and I ate the rest. The rubbish is still in my bag because she came home early so I didn't have time to throw it out. I had like a sandwich, banana bread, apple juice, a big cookie and a chocolate frappe.
I then had a box of cookies with hot chocolate a little white after that. I was uncomfortably stuffed again. Wanting to purge. But mum was still at home, so I couldn't.
I just kept waiting for her to leave the room or house so I could eat more.

About three hours late I had potato wedges and vegetarian dippers.
I ate the majority of what I had cooked. But had to eat the last quarter of what I did slowly and over time. I was nauseously full. But I kept eating.

I then was at the point of wanting to die because I was so full. My brother was home from school and I literally begged him to eat the rest of the food I had cooked because I was stuffed. (he didn't know I was THAT stuffed though) He happily obliged.

I then decided in that moment that I would start a water fast right then and there.

I lasted about  4.5 hours. Pathetic, I know.

I had an ice cream cone with loooootssss of ice cream.

I then had another of those.

I also had a piece of wholemeal toast with avocado on it.

Then like half an hour later, I had a piece of raisin toast with butter.
I then had another. I struggled to finish the second. I had to eat it super slow. But I ate it. Because I'm a fat arse.

That was everything I had.
The calorie count is beyond horrible.

So, today I am making up for it with a water fast. Hoping to go for 3 days. At least.

It's not a question of whether my body can handle it right now. It's just my brain. I'm going strong for now though. It's 3:30pm.

I did arm toning exercises this morning. With my new weights. I also did 120 crunches.
I was going to run on my treadmill for a while this morning as well, but I ran out of time.

I went shopping today and bought a new sports bra/top thing and sports shorts, to go jogging in. Going to start asap. If it isn't raining tomorrow I'll go then, if I'm not too light headed from fasting.
My fat arse needs it though.

If I don't start this weekend, I am starting Monday, since I have all night shifts this week, so I can get up early to go :)


I have put on an unbelievable amount of weight. But I am hoping that it will be gone by the time I finish fasting.

I weighed in at 63kg this morning. Ew.

I want to be back down to my LW of 59.5kg when I weigh in on Monday morning. Or sooner. I then am only eating 1 small apple and 1 no fat yogurt a day until I am at 55kg. Deal.

I have also made a decision to be more social. I am sick of having no social life outside of work.

I also want to go on a holiday. To a really nice beach. It will be my motivation.

All I need is one good day. Then I'll be back on track. Just one day. I can do this.




Fix what has been ruined.
-Kayla <3