It's New Years Eve!

It'll be 2012 in just a few hours, here in Australia!

I have eaten WAY too much tonight. But I'll fix that in the new year :)

I am starting the ABC diet tomorrow, AND going vegetarian for the 50 days. :D

I am GOING to reach my goal weight by the end of e 50 days. Hopefully lower.

I am GOING to finish the whole 50 days!

Also, I HAVE to do 5km on the treadmill EVERYDAY. Or I won't allow myself ANY food whatsoever until I do it.

I also plan to save at LEAST $5000 by the end of 2012. Hopefully up to around $10,000 if I stick to my plan. :)


I hope you are all well and reach all of your goals or the New Year! :D
-Kayla <3

Christmas chub

I put on a ridiculous amount of weight over Christmas. My work pants are again. Hoping to get the comfortably fitting again by New Years Eve.

I pretty much binged 4 days straight.

It's a little after 4pm on the 28th and I haven eaten yet. I only plan on eating dinner today.

Going to go back to eating one meal a day. I haven't exercised in 5 or so days.. I need to start again.. It's just that all of that junk food that I've been eating has made me so run down.

I feel super thirsty right now. Haven't drunk nearly enough water today..

I hope everyone had a good Christmas! I did, apart from over eating and feeli full for days.. But oh we'll, back on track now! :)

Hello to my new followers by the way! :D I know there is not many of you, but I appreciate each and every one of my followers! :D


Keep believing.
-Kayla <3

Short update turns into a rant..

Just popping in to so hi :)
I wish I had people that commented on my blog.. But anyway. I must't complain.
I still post because this blog is kind of like a diary for me. I read it months after ve posted it and it is really encouraging for me :)

Anyway! :)

I've lost 3kg/6.7 lb in three days :)
I REALLY hope I don't put on over Christmas.. :S

I feel SO slacsk today. I've already eaten over 100 calories also. It's not even 11am -.-
And I just really cbf exercising :/ ugh.

My weight is exactly 69kg as of this morning. Only half a kilo until I'm at my lowest weight. Not that impressive to some. But it is for me and my body :)

Normally when I restrict I feel or rather my mind convinces me that my body is looking or feeling smaller. This is not the case this time around. I don't see or feel much changes at all.. It's quite strange.. Although I do believe I'm not as bloated or something, because my work pants aren't as snug around my stomach.

This short update just turned into a rant.. Whoops :P

I am now having doubts about my ability to last the whole way through the ABC diet.. I guess I don't feel as strong.. That I'll give into temptation as soon as it presents itself..
I am still going to attempt it though.

I better stop typing now, before this post turns into a novel :P

Oh! Look out for a thinspo post coming you way ;)

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
-Kayla <3

Update & A Link To An Amazing Blog!

I walked 6km yesterday :) I am still yet to exercise today, I've been at work all day.
I haven't stuck to my 100 calories a day though. I've just been eating one meal a day. Consisting of salad and a little bit of meat. Not sure on total calories, but most definitely under 500 calories.

I haven't been able to fall asleep until pretty late lately, but I have to get up early for work almost every morning. So I am getting barely any sleep. I believe the lack of food is keeping me from sleeping. But it's not like my stomach is grumbling from hunger or anything when I go to bed.

I weighed myself yesterday morning and had lost 1.1kg. I then weighed myself this morning and had lost another 1.7kg. :D
I ate more than one meal today though, so I'm not expecting to lose as much by tomorrow.

I haven't even been struggling with only eating once a day though. I just lay around reading blogs and also exercising, when I'm not at work. (I ate more than once today because I had a big shift. Healthy stuff though!)

Just finished reading a lovely blog from start to the most recent post all the way back from 2009 :) here's the link: I highly encourage you to read it from the start :)


It's all worth it in the end.
-Kayla <3

Plans

My plans are as follows:

Starting today, 100 calories a day, walking/jogging 5km a day on my treadmill that I got the other day, until Friday. 
Saturday I am working (with a break, not sure what I am going to eat when I have it though) then I am buying my family dinner afterwards, as a special treat because it is Christmas Eve.
Sunday (Christmas) I am just having a free day. I can't do much about restricting that day, with all of my family around and what not.
Monday (boxing day) I am going to my Nanny and Poppy's for a family get together instead of going there Christmas. (More food I can't avoid)
Tuesday, back to 100 calories a day, until the 31st (New Years Eve), can't avoid food then either, more family time and what not.
1st January 2012; start of the ABC diet. Keen as, I really believe I can get through it all this time. Just have to stay strong. :)


I'll keep you guys updated :)

P.S. Sorry for the lack of posts! Haven't been doing all too well. Haven't gained much if any though. :)

Follow your plans to live your dreams.
-Kayla <3

So close, yet so far.

So, I did a liquid diet/fast on Thursday. Then it was back to my 100 cals on Friday. Then Saturday I allowed myself to eat a regular dinner. The weird thing is, when I weighed in on Saturday, I had put on weight. But when I weighed in this morning, I had lost weight. That's after eating a regular meal o.O

As of this morning I am back down to 69.2kg. :)That's 4.7kg down since Monday.:D

BUT today I had a major binge day :/ not keen for the number on the scales tomorrow...

I have to be strong this week. I want to at least be down to my lowest weight by Saturday. That's only 0.7kg away. Easy. I just have to be strict with myself and not allow "just a little" because it's not that much to loose.

Ideally, I want to be down to 65kg by Satuday, though. That's only 4.2nd away. :)

I was just going to eat whatever tomorrow, because it's my day off. But now that I worked all that out, I'm not wanting to. My final goal weight is so close. I'm just not sure whether to keep up with what I was doing this week, or change it up a little... Hmm..

Anyway, sorry for the long post :S I hope everything is going well for everyone. <3

Do it for yourself.
-Kayla <3

Feeling it.

I'm feeling it today. Haven't restricted this much in months.

I had to go pretty much all day without food, because I had my break at work at 8:30am, so I didn't eat again until dinner, at about 7pm or so.

I plan to fast tomorrow, I'm not sure if I have the strength to though, the only reason why I was going to was because it is my day off. But I am going shopping, so, I'm not sure how I am going to hold up.

I dropped nearly 2kg since yesterday though :)


Food diary:

Breakfast: Sugarfree V - 8 calories.

Lunch: 10 grapes - 16 calories.
            5 strawberries - 19 calories.

Dinner: 1 Cup of lettuce - 8 calories.
            1 Cherry tomato - 5 calories.
            2 Pickled cucumber slices - 16 calories.
            2 slices of beetroot -10 calories.

Dessert/Snack: cordial ice cup - 11 calories.

Total: 93 calories.



"I'm on my way."
-Kayla <3

Day one, accomplished.

I changed my blog layout! :) I like the birds, for me it signifies being free (of this fat, and so much more).  :)

So, anyway, I weighed in this morning. To be honest, I can't remember the number, but I THINK it might have been 73.9kg. Something like that anyway.

I want to be under or around 70kg by next Monday.

I worked for 7.5 hours today, so that would have burnt heaps of calories. YAY :D  My deal with myself is that if I work less than 5 hours, then I have to do some cardio that day. It's just a plus if I have the energy to do some even if I work more than that.

I am sooo dehydrated right now. I'm about to go to bed though, and I have to get up for work super early tomorrow morning, so I don't want water to effect my weigh in.

I don't have time to do my toning exercised tonight, it's straight to sleep after I finish righting this. I should learn to do them before now, in the future. >.<

For the first time in months, I am going to bed hungry.

Now, for my food diary;

Breakfast: Sugafree V - 8 calories.

Lunch: 10 small grapes - 16 calories.
            10 balls of watermelon - 37 calories.
            10 small strawberries - 22 calories.

Dinner: 1 cup lettuce - 8 calories.
            Slice of beetroot -5 calories.
            Slice of tomato - 4 calories.

Total: 100 calories.




If I keep this up, I'll be at my goal weight in no time :)

We'll be skinny. We have the strength.
-Kayla <3

De Ja Vu anyone?

Same old, same old.

I didn't end up following the plan that I posted on the 1st of November. It is now the 13th. -.-

BUT, I just read my August posts, it made me SOOO motivated. It made me believe in myself again. That I CAN do this.

I planned on eating under 200 calories this week, but I am going to change it to under 100. Then next week I'll change it to under 200. I an so motivated right now. But, that can change in a heartbeat. My mind will trick me and say, '"ahh lets just start tomorrow." I won't let it happen again.

I am going to go have a shower, create a food plan, then go to sleep. Work for 8 hours tomorrow, 7.5 if you don't include my break (which will be fruit).

Goodnight :)
-Kayla <3

My Month. It HAS to be.

I still haven't turned it around yet. But I NEED to!

It's the 1st of November. I WILL go at LEAST this whole month without messing up. OR I have to burn it all off until I'm within my calorie limit again. I'm going to give myself a limit of 500 calories a day. That's pretty doable. 

I nearly messed up already today. But I had told my brother that he can't let me eat any of the left overs from last night, and it worked, he guilt tripped me into not eating. Thank goodness.

So here is this months plan:

Calorie limit: 500.

Exercise:

• 100 crunches.
• 50 scissor leg lifts each leg. (side ways)
• 50 leg lifts each leg (front ways)
• 30  push ups (not very good at proper push ups, so do as many as I can, then the rest "girl" push ups.)
• Aerobics on Wii 4 days a week.

I think that should get me back down to my LW by the end of the month. Hopefully anyway. 

Chin up and smile. 

-Kayla <3

Realizations

I was just catching up on some of the blogs that I read, and one of them was about how their ED is related to their emotions. It got me thinking. I haven't been able or my mind hasn't let me, to eat what I was eating for the first half of the year, for the past few months (low calories, barely anything). Anyway, the point is, I realized that it's been this way, ever since my life started to go well. I never thought I'd say that, but it is. Except my social life, but that's another story.

I hate that I fail every time I set a calorie limit or attempt a liquid fast ect. I eat, sometimes even without discust. In a way, I think I recovered without meaning to. I guess I also found the underlying reason for my ED. 

But despite this, I still need to lose this fat. So I'm starting a new diet asap. I'm not sure which one yet. It has to be something that I can eat dinner with (salad), my dad started to ask questions when I attempted a liquid fast the past few days. I caved in and ate to avoid suspicion. I'm weak, I know.

But weight wise, I guess I haven't put on that much. Considering I went through a mega binge phase at one stage. I've pretty much maintained, give or take a few.

So, suggestions for diets are welcome. I need to get as low as I can before it starts to get hot.Which, is super soon, so I don't have a very good chance, but I can try.

I wish I could go jogging in the morning, but I usually start work at like 6am or so. So, I'd have to get up ridiculously early, and then I'd be pooped for work anyway, plus it'd be dark.. I'm way too chicken. I've got EA Sports Active 2 though, so I am going to start using that again. I gave up after I started to hurt after the first few days. 

I've done barely any exercise though, apart from my shifts at work. Which is quite a bit, but I need to do more. 

I'm thinking about doing the Skinny Girl Diet, to get back into things. 

Sorry, I am pretty much just typing as I am thinking. So I have no idea if this post is going to make any sense.. :P

"Gotta pick myself up, where do I start?"

-Kayla <3

Lack of motivation

I haven't posted in yonks!

I just wanted to do a quick update, to let you guys know that I'm okay.

Well, other than I'm still fat. Fatter even.

The last diet that I was posting about, a couple of months ago now, I did for about 3 weeks. I think. It was so long ago now..  But anyway, I lost control when I had a few 'free' days, where I could eat anything I wanted. BIIIIG mistake. 

I pretty much overate and not on good things either, ever since. I've tried a few times to try and get myself out of this rut, but I always go back to my old ways. 

Does anyone want to help me get back on track? Comment if you do, or email me at iwillbebeautiful@gmail.com :) I could really use with some help and support <3

Help each other help ourselves.

-Kayla <3

Please don't let this be a plateau

I gained 0.1kg today. I hope this doesn't mean that I'm going to be stuck at around that weight. Plateau's suck.

Anyway, I am having a free day tomorrow, I'm scared that I'll put on weight, but hopefully I lose it pretty fast, like last time :)  I'll hopefully be fasting on Sunday.

I didn't drink nearly enough water today >.<

Anyway, not much else to talk about for now :P

Food diary:

Dinner: Sliced tomato -14 calories.
            Mince - 117 calories.
            Salsa - 30 calories.
            Taco seasoning mix - 9 calories.
            Lettuce leaves - 16 calories.

Snack: Frozen cordial ice cup - 11 calories.

Total: 197 calories.

Keep on believing.
-Kayla <3

Quick update, new LW and food diary

I weighed in at my lowest weight today :)  I am now at 68.5kg (151.01 lb) 

Not really much else to tell you guys about.. so.. let's move onto my food diary.

Food diary:

Snack: Frozen cordial ice cup - 11 calories.

Dinner: Rice - 117 calories.
           Chicken korma sauce - 53 calories.

Total: 181 calories.


Stay strong, no matter what your situation is.
-Kayla <3

New LW!

I hit my lowest weight when I weighed in this morning :D
I am now at 68.9kg (151.89 lb) :D This may seem a lot to some of you, but for me, well, it's the lightest I've been in years, so yeah. :D

I had over 6 hours of work today, so I would of burnt a hell of a lot of calories :D

Food Diary:

Lunch: 2 peices of toast - 144 calories.
           2g butter - 12 calories.
           1 egg white - 15 calories.

Dinner: Potato bake (only a little bit) - 18 calories.

Snack: - Frozen cordial ice cup - 11 calories.

Total: 200 calories.

I hope the weight loss keeps up :D
-Kayla <3

Chanting in my head

Today I kept under my calorie limit.

I don't have too much to update about.. So.. here's today's food diary :)

Food Diary:

Snacks: 3 (not all at once) frozen cordial ice cups - 35 calories.

Dinner: 0.5 crumbed fish filet - 72 calories.
            Hot potato chips (baked) - 82 calories.

Total: 189 calories.

I keep saying chants in my head to keep me going :P  Whatever it takes, I guess :3

Keep believing,
-Kayla <3

Bribery

Today, I water fasted until dinner. I'll write my food diary after I ramble for a little while.

I also exercised today. I burnt over 100 calories :) It was tough though, I hadn't exercised in days >.<

I am slightly less dehydrated today, but still a little.

I always seem to get cravings late at night/early in the morning >.<

I'm bribing myself, saying that if I get through the week, with keeping to my calorie limit, I'll reward myself at the end of the week. If I break. No reward.

Food Diary:

Dinner: 1 sausage - 135 calories.
            0.5 cup of cabbage - 17 calories.
            Tomato sauce - 20 calories.

Dessert: Frozen cordial ice cup - 13 calories.

Total: 196 calories.

Stay strong, no matter what you're feeling.
-Kayla <3

Getting back on track

Today I successfully water fasted :)  Although, I need to remember to drink more water >.<   I barely drank any today and I am ridiculously thirsty. It's a tad bit too late to consume anything though.

I just have to make it through the night now. We all know what happened last night >.<

Hopefully I've lost a bit or all of what I put on from last night..

Not going to eat until dinner tomorrow night, hopefully. Or only have a frozen ice cup, if I need it to keep me going, or I need to occupy myself to avoid dangerous food.

I didn't end up exercising today though >.<  I woke up late, like super late. 2:30pm late.  My dad was watching the tv, and then relatives showed up. So I couldn't use the Wii for exercise >.< It's the one thing that pushes me to not give up after 5 minutes.. I AM going to do some tomorrow though. Or I won't eat. Deal.

I hope your day is going/went well :)
-Kayla <3

I just want to be empty again

I binged. Alot. I'm so full D:  I wish I could purge :\  Nothing ever comes up though :\

I've decided I'm going to water fast tomorrow, as planned, and then liquid fast or continue water fasting until I'm back at my LW.

I'm such a failure :\

But that's the last of this binging nonsense for August.

I just really want to be able to eat like a normal person :\ Tonight, at work, there were so many skinny pretty girls eating whatever they wanted. Ughh.
I keep telling myself that I'll be able to do that when I'm at my GW. But I know I won't be able to. I'm in too deep now.

I feel like I need a hug.

Keep me strong..
-Kayla <3

I won't let one night ruin the whole month

So, my family decided to have Chinese take away for dinner tonight. I ate it. It is my favourite food D:  Oh well, at least it had veggies in it, guess. So it was some-what healthy.. But still.

ANYWAY! To make up for it, I am going to water fast tomorrow, and I also burnt heaps of calories running around for four hours at work tonight. AND I am going to do three workouts on the Wii tomorrow :)

Oh, also, when I got home from work, I was SOOOOO close to binging. The only reason why I didn't binge was because we are out of the food that I usually devour when I binge.

I weighed in this morning, and I was at a new LW :) Just.  I weighed in at 69.2kg (152.55 lb).


I also weighed myself tonight, it wasn't that much more, and I had just drank heaps of water, and hadn't gone to the bathroom in like 5-ish hours, so hopefully, eating that dinner didn't make me put on weight. I reeeallly hope it didn't. :\


Food Diary:

Lunch: Frozen cordial ice cup - 13 calories.

Dinner: Chinese take away - unknown.

Total: Alot.



August weight loss: 3.8kg (8.37 lb)



We CAN do this.
-Kayla <3

So thirsty

I am ridiculously thirsty, but I just can't seem to quench it D:

Anyway, last night.. or today really, I had a dream about going on a McDonald's binge. >.<

I have been craving everything today. I just miss flavour so much D: Vegetables don't really have all that much flavour.. but they're low calorie..

Tonight I've been trying to figure out my meals and what not for next week. I'm still working on it. It's hard >.<

Today's Food Diary:

Lunch: 2 frozen cordial ice cups - 26 calories.

Dinner : Stir fry vegetables - 12 calories.
             Tomato sauce - 60 calories.

Total: 98 calories.

Also I am at my LW from two or so weeks ago :)  So, hopefully I'll be at a totally new LW tomorrow :D Seeing the numbers on the scale is seriously the only thing that stops me from binging.

August weight loss: 3.7kg (8.15 lb)

Stay strong.
-Kayla <3

I was so close to ruining it

I nearly went over my calorie limit today. But luckily I didn't eat much in the day, so it still fit into my calorie limit. Just.
I was at my friends, and they just kept eating and eating. It was ridiculous! I was jealous that they could eat whatever and not feel guilty, but not jealous of them, they're not exactly.. thin.. It's funny, because I used to be the fat friend with them, but now I'm the skinny friend. Even though I'm not skinny. If that helps you picture the scenario at all :P

I'm nearly at a new LW again! :D  I SHOULD be at it by tomorrow morning :)

Food Diary:

Lunch: Pineapple diced - 13 calories.
           Strawberries diced - 9 calories.

Dinner: White sandwich bread, 1 slice - 70 calories.
             Margarine - 3 calories.
             Vegemite - 2 calories.

Total: 97 calories.

August weight loss, so far: 3.3kg (7.27 lb)

Take care loveys :)
-Kayla <3

Just A Quick Update and Food Diary

I told my mum that I'm not going back to school. My parents are currently looking into homeschooling. I doubt they'll let me do it though.

Anyway, this morning I was in too much of a rush, so I didn't weigh myself.

Food Diary:

Breakfast: 1 egg white - 15 calories.
                31g mixed vegetables - 8 calories.

Lunch: Pineapple and strawberries - 22 calories.

Dinner: 2 egg whites - 30 calories.

Total: 75 calories.




Job well done, again :)  Although, I'm pretty dehydrated. >.<

I don't have all that much to say today.

Just keep smiling :)
- Kayla <3

Life changing decisions

I'll post my food diary in this post after I blabber about some stuff :P

Today I decided I am going to 'forfeit' my enrollment at my current school, but I haven't told anyone yet. I also gave my mum a web address to a potential homeschooling school. If I don't get into that, I'm either going to study something at tafe or find a full time job. I'm finally at peace with my decision. I'm going to talk to my mum about dropping out of my current school, on the way to tafe tomorrow. Hopefully if I do homeschooling, I'll be able to continue that tafe course.

Anyhoo, now onto the weight stuff.

I weighed in this morning. I've lost 1.6kg (3.52 lb) since yesterday. :D I think that's quite good. It's probably water weight, but at least the numbers going down :)

Food Diary:

Boiled cabbage 0.5 cup - 17 calories.

Steamed mixed veggies 50g - 14 calories.

Total: 31 calories.

The same as yesterday :)

I hope all is well for everyone :)

-Kayla <3

August the 1st

The first day of August. The month that I for once WON'T screw up.

Well, food wise, it went well. 

Food Diary:

Boiled cabbage 0.5 cup - 17 calories.

Steamed mixed veggies 50g - 14 calories.

Total: 31 calories.

I am allowing myself 100 calories a day this week. 

Also, the past week, I pretty much ate whatever the hell was in reach. Emotional eating. I weighed in today and I gained 3.7kg. I'm not extremely bothered by it though, because I KNOW I'll lose it, and hopefully more by the end of the month.

Moving on. 

I now understand about the control side of ED. I'm grasping onto mine more than ever, while I watch my life fall apart before my eyes.

I don't know what to do. I pretty much have no friends. I have to 'forfeit' my enrollment at school (in other words, I'm getting kicked out), which leads to having to 'forfeit' my enrollment at tafe, I barely speak to my family and I now have no idea what to do with my future. 

I just wish I had someone to talk to :\ I just want it all to be fixed. But it can't be fixed. Not that I can see.

Anyway, enough about my depressing life.

I hope August goes well for us.

- Kayla <3

Lazy

This past week has been a beyond lazy week. Food wise and with just life in general.

I haven't weighed since I last posted, but I've most probably put all of the previous weeks weight back on, and probably more.

This week I've been eating what I want, when I want. Even if I'm not hungry.

I think it's because I've been angry at myself for other stuff which is leading to me not caring. About anything.

I've been comforting myself, saying 'I'll undo all of this when I start my diet in August'. It's only a few days away, so hopefully the damage isn't too horrid.

So, yes, my August diet. I'm going to be restricting HEAPS more than I usually do, throughout August. PLUS I'm going to try and burn everything off, since I won't be eating that much anyway.
For the first week, I'm going to be eating 100 cals, then 200, then 300, and well, you get the gist. I've got my diet plan worked out for the first week, but I can't think of anything for the second week.. and anything after that.

I've also decided that I'm going to be posting my food diaries on here EVERYDAY. Hopefully it's another incentive to stick to this. But I'm super confident that I will stick to it. My goal is to be at 65kg by the end of August. Which is my GW4. It's most definitely possible, and I am determined to accomplish it.

In other news, I'm pretty sure I'm going to get kicked out of school.. For not attending enough. Stupid anxiety >.<   I've been looking into homeschooling though. Maybe my parents will let me do that.. if not.. then I'm screwed.. :'\

My next post will probably be on the 1st of August, of my food journal, starting weight, ect.

Until then,
Stay beautifully strong,
-Kayla <3

Fruit Diet Accomplished

In my last post, I wrote about starting the 'Russian Gymnast Diet'. Well, that only lasted a day, so I turned it into a fruit diet. I weighed in this morning and overall I lost 4.4kg (9.70 lb) :D  I'm quite happy with the results :D

So, I did the fruit diet for 7 days. By the end of it, and still now, fruit just does not appeal to me all that much :P  But I'm definitely going to do the diet again, when I'm in need of a quick fix.

So, I just had lunch. I ate way too much >.<  And the suckish thing is, I want to eat more! Wtf?! I'm full -.-    That's just my old habits kicking in. I don't think it has anything to do with the fruit diet.

Hopefully I don't put on this week.. I'm SO close to my GW..

I've been thinking, and at the moment my GW is 60kg, but I will most probably go lower than that.

Until next time, lovley's,
-Kayla <3

If this doesn't work. I don't know what to do.

This Sunday, the 17th, I'm going to start the 'Russian Gymnast Diet'. This is my attempt at trying to lose SOMETHING. Weight loss has been extremely slow to non existent lately. 

The other week I attempted the ABC Diet. And failed. 

I've been exercising everyday, so it's so frustrating that I'm not losing weight >.<

Also, on Sunday I'm going to look for exercise machines at the shops, because I want something quiet that I can put in my room to use at night, which is usually when I feel like doing exercise the most.

I feel like my stomach is bigger. It probably is. The only reason why I think this is because my Mum bought some jeans, the exact same ones as I have, but a different colour, and they're tight. But I'm not sure if it's the make or if I've put on weight, because my other ones fit nicely.. I guess I've worn them in?.. I don't know.

So yeah, if the 'Russian Gymnast Diet' doesn't work, then I seriously don't know what else to do.  Although, I'm kind of worried that my stomach will grumble during school this week. It's my first week back in months.. it's going to be hard enough as it is >.<

But I'm determined to stick to this diet. I'm sick of not losing weight, and staying fat.

We'll make it.

-Kayla <3

My New Plan

I'm not at a new LW. I actually went up 0.2kg on the last day of my liquid fast. Yeah, idk. 

But I'm on school holidays at the moment, and I have a new plan/goals. It goes as followed;

• Don't eat over 800 calories (WAAAYY higher than I usually eat, but I guess it'll give me room without feeling guilty)
• Burn AT LEAST 100 calories a day.
• Do ALL of my toning exercises every day.
• Do DOUBLE if I miss a day.
• Be UNDER 70kg by the 18th of July (when I go back to school)

Being under 70kg doesn't sound that hard, considering the weight I am at. But I just can't seem to get under it. I've been stuck between 70kg and 75kg for over a month now. It's so frustrating. :@

I'll update next Monday about how I am going, if I don't have anything to update in the meantime. 

Take care and stay strong.

-Kayla <3

It's been a while..

FINALLLYYYYYYYYY

It's been nearly a month! D:

BUT! I've finally reached a new low weight! As of this morning I'm at 70.4kg (155.20 lb) and hopefully I'll be at a lower weight by tomorrow :)

It's taking me so long because I went through two binge cycles since my last post. And that made me gain weight, then I lost it, and then I gained it again. Now I've finally lost it again and hopefully I don't gain again!
When I gained all the weight, I didn't get as high as I usually do, which is good. :)

At the moment, I'm on the 2nd day of a liquid fast. The first day I didn't eat anything, so I'm counting that as a water fast day. But it's still under the liquid fast on the 'My Diets, Past and Present' page.

Oh! Yesterday I started and finished reading 'Wintergirls' :) <3

Aaaaanyhoo, I'll update agian when I'm at a new LW. Which SHOULD be tomorrow :)

Take care.
- Kayla <3

It's within my reach

I'm so close to my GW2! :D As of this morning I am 1.3kg (2.86 lb) away from it. :)

At the moment, I am just trying to keep under 500 calories every day. It seems to be working for me :)
I am also starting to exercise again. I've been doing sit ups, leg lifts and arm exercises. I've been planning on going for walks, but I've had heaps of assignments and what not, but I HAVE to start ASAP!

I'm off for now, I'll post again when I reach my GW2 :)

It's worth it.
-Kayla <3

I won't ruin June too.

Sorry for the lack of posts lately!

In my absence, I've had my birthday, which, y'know, yay :)  But, that turned every single day into binge central. I would eat just for the sake of it. And it was all junk food too.

I've been trying for a few days now, to change my eating habits around. It's been hard though. But today, the first day of June; I've made a start on what I hope is my turning point :)

I started a liquid fast today. I'm hoping to lose the weight that I put on from the 'continuous binge'.

It pretty much was continuous. I pretty much always was eating something. It was disgusting.

But anyway; I'll be posting my daily weight and calorie intake on my page 'My Diets, Past and Present' and also my daily weigh in will be on the page 'Daily Weigh In'.

I'm hoping to continue this liquid fast for at LEAST three days. More if I can push through work without food.   I have school tomorrow though.. So that's going to be a challenge getting through, with the sudden lack of food. Gahh. I can see myself giving in tomorrow. :\


Stay strong.
-Kayla <3

Liquid Diet/Fast

If you've been checking on my 'My Diets, Past and Present' page, or follow me on twitter, then you would have noticed that I'm on a liquid fast at the moment. I've completed 3 days, and am on my 4th at the moment. I've lost 3.1kg (6.83 lb) since I started. That's almost exactly what I lose on 16 days of the ABC diet. Woah.

I think I am going to continue this liquid fast until I have reached my GW2. I'm estimating that that is around another three days or so away. But if my body can't cope with that, reaching a new LW would be just as good :) I'm 0.2kg (0.44 lb) away from a new LW.

I am quite amazed at how easy I have found this liquid fast to be. The only time I experienced bad stomach grumbles was yesterday, I think that was because I was at school and because I only had 5-ish hours sleep the night before. Also the first day I had band stomach grumbles, I think that was just because I wasn't used to eating so little. But apart from that, I haven't had much else :) No head spins really, and no hunger pains or anything :)

I've been liquid fasting with a friend on twitter :) She has been great support :) <3  (www.twitter.com/bonesofbeauty)

On another note, I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while! D: If you want to follow me everyday (if I haven't posted a blog) then you can check out my twitter to see what I am up to. (www.twitter.com/iwillbbeautiful)  Also the 'My Diets, Past and Present' page will have my stats for the day :) 

I hope you are all doing well,
Stay strong and keep believing :)
-Kayla <3

Getting back on track

Last night, I realised that I might be binging excessively because I'm bored with my diet. So, I decided yesterday was my last day  on the ABC diet, and I started looking for something new. I couldn't find anything. So, for now, I'm just going to try and keep it under 500 calories a day, until my binging is under control.  If you know of any good diets that I should try, let me know :)

I've burned a little over 200 calories so far, which is good :) I'm going to aim to burn at least 100 calories a day. I was going to try 500 at least. But I don't know if I have that much stamina.. hah.

Last night, right before I went to sleep I had a big binge. I was ridiculously full from it. And I feel all gross today. :\

I put on since yesterdays weigh in. But that's no surprise considering all that I ate.

I'm wanting to be back down to my LW by this time next week. I'm also aiming for no binges at all this week.

Stay strong. Stay motivated.
-Kayla <3

Ashamed

I know I don't have many readers, but for those who do read my blogs; I'm sorry that I haven't posted in so long. >.<

The reason being, I'm a failure. A fat failure.

So, I did my 51 hour fast. That was great :) And I was fine for a while. But then I fell back into the habit of binging. I'm at the stage of; if it's there, I'll eat it.
I've binged for the last 3 days, on cake mostly. Fat arse, I know. But I haven't put on as much weight as I thought I would thank goodness.

Oh, someone, who doesn't know I'm trying to lose weight, finally noticed that I've lost weight. It was a nice moment. :)  But now I feel more pressure.. 

I reached a new LW of 73.5kg (162.03 lb), but have put on since then.

This was only meant to be a short blog on how I'm a fat failure. But I guess not :P

I started self harming again. I didn't do it too often in the past. But I still did. It's for different reasons this time though. And I'm going to do it every time I binge. How else will I learn.


Sorry for the depressing blog.

Stay strong. And support each other. You have no idea what it means when someone doesn't judge you for your mistakes.
-Kayla <3

Was It Worth It?

So, Monday I was going strong. Then when dinner came around I decided, stuff it, I'm not going to count calories this meal, and so the food got stacked onto my plate. Then I had jelly. Then I had cup cakes. Then I had an apple. I JUST COULDN'T STOP!

That's when it all started. And now I can't stop. Binging that is.

So, Tuesday, I weighed in and had put on 0.8kg (1.76 lb). So, I decided to get back on track. So, that day, I had below my calorie limit and did some exercise. So that was a good day.

Wednesday rolled around and I had lost 0.3kg (0.66 lb) since the day before. I was back on track. I was doing fantastic that day. Only 50 cals for breakfast and 30 cals for lunch. I was so proud of myself. I had an apple before I went out and didn't plan to eat when I got home. But guess what. I did. I had a bowl full of spaghetti bolognaise. There was still some in the fridge. I just kept going back for more. I couldn't stop. Then I had an orange. Then more spaghetti bolognaise. Then two kiwi fruits. Then more spaghetti bolognaise. I went to bed feeling disgustingly full that night.

As you can imagine. I put on. I had put on 0.6kg (1.32 lb) since the previous day. So, I decided to fast until dinner. And I did. I then had dinner. And that's all I planned to have for the day. But there were left overs. And boy did I binge on that. Once again, I couldn't stop. I then had an apple. Then more left overs. Then another apple. Then more left overs. Then jelly. And yes. More left overs. I'm disgusting. That night I did some crunches and leg lifts, which I haven't been doing at all lately.

And that brings us to today. I weighed in and had put on 0.5kg (1.1 lb). I haven't eaten today. It's nearly 1pm. I only plan to have a 50 calorie meal before work and that's it for the day. Maybe a hot chocolate tonight. But I'm going to try not to.

I feel disgusting and I'm a failure. I don't know how I let myself go like that. Once I started I just couldn't stop. They only good thing that came out of this, is that I am now more determined. I want to lose 5.7kg (12.56 lb) in 24 days. Hopefully that is possible.

And no. It wasn't worth it.


Stay strong. We'll get there.
-Kayla <3

GW1 acheived

As you can tell by the title of this post; I have achieved my GW1 :) I was super happy when I saw that I had achieved and actually gone under my first goal weight this morning :) I don't feel that now though, because I still have a long way to go.

I'm fasting today. My first fast on the ABC diet. It's going well. I just have to try and get out of dinner is all. It's not like they're going to make me eat. I don't think they will anyway.. I'm just going to say I'm not hungry. Or perhaps have a shower then.. good idea. ;)

Today my dad was asking me about my goal weight. Like what I want to get down to. I said " I don't know. Whenever I'm skinny." He said "well, you need to have a goal weight. What does that site say?" Me: "I'll have to look when I'm on the computer" Dad: "ok...   So when do we have to check you into a hospital? You know there's a fine line between healthy and anorexic." me: "mm." Dad: "that's why you need a goal weight. So you know when to stop" Me: "but what if I get to that goal weight and I'm still not skinny?" Dad: "well, then you can lower it a little bit. But you have to be careful."

My mum and dad then proceeded to discuss what a healthy weight for me is. They decided on 65kg (143.3lb). I was sitting there thinking. *omg! Are they serious! I want to be like 15kg (33.06lb) below that! O.O* My dad then asked what I thought of that weight. I said "idk. I s'pose. It depends if I'm skinny then or not"
Later, I told him what my BMI range for 'healthy' is. He was like ohh ok. (it's about 10kg lower than the goal weight he said)  He then said. "ok, so, what do you think a goal weight could be for you?" me: "I already told you.  I don't know." Dad: "well, are you at it now?" me: "no... do I look like I'm at it now?" Dad: "yes" Me: "well, no. I'm not skinny."

He also suggested that I go to dietitian to find out a good weight for me. I'm don't want to and I'm not going to one because what if they ask me what I eat and stuff.. I'd have to lie. I'm a terrible liar. I panic and go all red >.<

I want to be at my GW2 by my birthday. Which is in exactly a month :)


Keep strong, keep motivated, keep believing.
-Kayla <3

Ignoring someone is better than lying to them, right?

So, ABC day 2. It was a 100 calorie day for me today because of some swapping around. I had 93 calories and burnt 60. :)

This is what I ate:

205g (just under a cup) of Heinz Big Red Soup - 64 cals.
Roast lamb 20g - 29 cals.


Today my dad was asking me about food and stuff. He was like, so how many calories are you aloud? (he asked something before that but I can't remember what) I was drinking at the time and just kept drinking and by the time I was done I didn't have to answer. Thank goodness. I was trying to think quickly what a reasonable amount of calories that I could say, but I just didn't know what to say..

I have a headache at the moment. :\ 

And I'm craving just about everything. >.< But yet, I'm not tempted :)

Oh yes, my weigh in this morning. I lost 0.4kg (1.1 lb) since yesterday xD I am now 1.3kg (2.86lb) away from GW1 :)
I don't seem to be seeing any results though :\ I'm still all flabby and gross >.<

Exercise has been really frustrating lately. The first day I got my exercise bike, I did 45 minutes on it. But after that I can barely do 5 minutes -.-

Anyway, I hope I've lost more when I weigh in tomorrow morning :)

Stay strong, stay gorgeous :)
-Kayla <3

ABC day 1

Day 1 of the ABC diet.

V8 vegetable juice 50mL - 10 cals.
Roasted carrots - 9 cals.
1 1/2 medium roasted potatos -236 cals.
Roast pork 100g - 143 cals.
Green beans boiled - 11 cals.
36 red seedless grapes - 72 cals.

Total - 481 cals.

I only did 4 mins on the exercise bike though. I just found it so hard to keep going.  I think I went too hard too fast when I first started :S >.< I burnt 56 calories though. :)

Tomorrow I'm aloud to have 100 calories. Normally it would be 500, but I had to switch a few days around because of social outings and what not. I've planned it out, so I if I don't eat anything other than what I've planned for then I'll be good :)

Oh! Also, I weighed in this morning and I am 76.7kg/169.09 lb. :) I lost 0.4kg/0.88 lb since yesterday :)

I plan to do 100 crunches and some leg lift exercises before bed tonight :)

I really need to tone up, but I'm not entirely sure how..


Stay strong hun's :)
-Kayla <3

It's time for a change

So, first things first. I didn't exercise today. But I did stay well under my calorie limit for today.  I plan to exercise twice as much tomorrow :)

Today I decided that I'm going to finish The Skinny Girl Diet at day 17.  I'm just not losing as much as I would like. So, I'm opting for the ABC Diet. I always stay well under my calorie limit anyway, so hopefully it won't be too much harder :)  The only difference is that I have to count fruit and vegetables as calories, which you didn't on The Skinny Girl Diet.

The only thing is I'll have to swap a few days around because of social events I am attending. The only thing I am worried about is the morning after I sleepover my friends, I'm going to have to have breakfast, (toast or something), and then I have a bbq lunch I'm going to that same day. I can restrict before the sleepover, but I'm worried about going well over at the bbq. I'll try and keep it small but convincible at the bbq.  ;)

Anyhoo, I also plan to keep taking pictures of every single thing that I eat from now on, and blogging them after I've eaten everything for that day.

Today I had 406 calories. All in dinner.

Come back for a new blog about my first day on the ABC Diet tomorrow :)  Wish me luck :3
Stay strong and believe.
-Kayla <3

PS. Here's some thinspo for you :) <3

Happier, and food diary in pictures

Hey Hey :)

So, I weighed myself again a little after I posted that last blog, even though I had eaten and had had heaps of water. Well, it turns out the scales were reading wrong :) Like you know when you first get on them they read 0. Well they were reading 0.8kg. So yeah, maybe I didn't put on all that weight in the first place?  Anyhoo, it read 77.2kg/170.19 lb. So that's good :)

I also got a rowing/multiple other exercise machine and an exercise bike :) They're just second hand but at least I have something to exercise on now :) 

I burnt 657 calories, cycling today. I also did some arm exercises and some crunches. :)

Food diary in pictures:

Meal 1:

Free.

Meal 2:

97 cals.

Meal 3:

Forgot to eat.

Meal 4:

7 cals.

Meal 5:

Forgot to take a picture.

Crumbed fish fillet: 145 cals.

Corn on cob x2: free.

Half a boiled potato: free.

                                                                           Meal 6:

Free.

All this hard work better pay off :)

Stay strong and believe in yourselves my pretties :)
-Kayla <3

What happend?

So, if you follow me on twitter; you probably already know this. But anyways.

I weighed in this morning, and apparently I've put on 1kg/2.20 lb. yeah. Wtf? I did have more clothes on if that has anything to do with it. But surely not THAT amount of weight in clothes..  But anyway..

I've decided to try and get my motabloism going by eating every 2 hours but still staying in my calorie limit.  I'm going to take a picture of every single thing I put in my mouth today. Calories or not.  I also plan to drink at LEAST 1.5L a day. I've been bad at drinking water -.-

I'm really annoyed :\  It's a wholes week and a bit undone :\ I really don't know what happend. I ate only 136 calories AND I exercised.. blahh I don't know.

Just took a picture of meal 1. This meal plan better work. >.<

Stay strong my pretty's :)
-Kayla <3

Rants

It's seriously like my family doesn't even care that I'm trying to lose weight and be healthy.. like they sit in front of me eating fricken mountains on ice-cream. Like I'm not tempted by it but seriously. And they serve unhealthy dinners and have loads of junk food in the kitchen. It's like they don't even care about their bodies. They're all obese and they're not even trying to do anything about it. It just annoys me. And to be honest it kind of embarrasses me to be with them in public. They're great thinspo though. I just have to watch them eat and it turns me right off.

My parents keep saying they're going to get some equipment for me to use but they just keep putting it off :\
I spoke to my mum about joining a gym but she doesn't want me to I suppose.. I think she might be jealous that I'm trying to do something about my weight and have quite a large result. Like that's so obnoxious to say, but I feel that kind of vibe coming from her.

I know all of that is horrible to say, but I just wish they would try and do something about their weight.. I've tried getting them to diet (normally) with me and all that but nope, they wouldn't budge.

Don't take me wrong. I love them. But I just, just ughh.

Sorry for the huge rant. I just needed to get my feelings and frustrations out.

Lets move on now shall we?

First of all; sorry I haven't posted in so long! I haven't really had anything interesting to blog about really..

I've been losing weight everyday for a while now :) BUT I weighed myself this morning and I put on 0.2kg/0.44 lb. because I ate so so so so soooo much yesterday >.<

I want to be 70kg/154.32 lb. by the 23rd of May :) So in order to be that I need to lose 7.4kg/16.31 lb. in a little under 6 weeks.

Aww, I just had a beautiful moment with my sister :) It put me in a better mood <3 And makes me want to backspace on all the horrible things I typed up there.. :\ 

Ughh. I feel so fat today. I just want to be skinny! Why can't I get there sooner?! But when I do get to my goal weight I'm going to be all un-toned if I don't start exercising. Ughh.

Oh by the way, I just remembered that I was going to start taking pictures of all the calorie foods I eat. I'll post a blog of them every day so stay tuned ;)

I better stop boring you and leave you to your day :P

Stay strong my pretty's :)
-Kayla <3

The Jelly

I just shocked myself. I went to the fridge to have some watermelon, but there wasn't any left. That's when I spotted the jelly. It's only 7 cals per serving, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't eat it. I guess I'm starting to associate food as bad. I only eat fruit and vegetables casually now (not a huge amount though. But the point is I don't feel guilty after I eat them), ever since I started 'The Skinny Girl Diet'. I'm keeping well under the daily calorie limit also. The only bad part is I'm not really losing any weight.. it's so frustrating.. >.<

Does anyone have any cardio exercises I can do in the privacy of my home? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. :)

On another note; today I feel fatter than usual. Ughh. I just want to be thin already! D':

Oh about school. I decided I'm going to stay put. I love the community I have their too much.

I really want to lose more than I am in a week :\ maybe I'm just disappointed because I've been weighing myself everyday?...

Stay strong and keep believing :)
-Kayla <3

Unneeded, unwanted, unloved.

The title of this post, is how I am feeling right now.
I feel like my two 'best friends' at school are going off on their own and having fun. Like they don't want me around anymore. That hurts.
But at the same time, I'm kind of happy about it. For me, it means I won't feel guilty when I move on. I've wanted to try out a different school for a while now, and I think this is my opportunity.
I'm going to talk to the youth worker at school tomorrow. I don't know how to word it though. I'm thinking something along the lines of; "So you know how we were talking the other day. About school and stuff. I think maybe you're right. Like I don't know about the challenging part, but I don't know..  I feel like I maybe want to try going to a different school..?" How does that sound?.. Any suggestions would be appreciated. :)

Anyway, now to my eating and what not. Today, all I've had is a large orange and water. That filled me up quite a lot. But I'm still getting head spins when I stand up >.<

I'm saving all of my calories that I'm aloud to have today on 'The Skinny Girl Diet' for tonight, because we're having a roast chicken with roast veggies and what not.

On another note; I am craving white bread and watermelon so bad! D: (not together of course ;P)

Now on to exercise.. hmm.. It hasn't been THAT great.. I've been doing 100-500 sit up/crunches a day. And different kind of leg lift exercises. But I haven't really been doing any cardio >.< I wish I had a treadmill or exercise bike or something.. I really need to do some though.. What do you guys do?

Oh and my weight as of this morning is 78.5kg/173.06 lb. My reward for reaching 75kg/165.34 lb. is white skinnies :) or if not, just something I want. Maybe something to help me with exercise? :)

Sorry for the long post :3

Stay strong and believe in yourself :)
-Kayla <3

*Thinspiration found on google images*

New Diet

Long time no post..

Well, since I last posted, I put on a couple of kilos. But I lost them now :)  At the moment I'm at 78.8kg/173.72 lb.

Anyhoo, yesterday I started a new diet that I found on 'The Red Bracelet Project' It's a take off of the ABC diet I believe. Anyway, I quite like it and it seems to be working :) Since yesterday I've lost 0.8kg/1.76 lb. :)

I also entered a competition to see who can lose the most weight and what not. This is the link if you want to enter:  http://proanalove-sunshinechild.blogspot.com/p/super-slim-down-competition-2011.html  I highly doubt I'll win, but it's good motivation :)

I've been doing lots of crunches and different kinds of leg lifts too :) I just wish my parents would hurry up and get that exercise bike they said they'd get >.<

I'll try and post more often. It's just that I don't really have anything interesting to blog about :P

Chow for now ;)
And don't forget to believe :)
-Kayla <3

Fasting

I know, I know. I haven't blogged in AGES! >.<

Well, nothing special happened in my absence though. Except the other the I binged like crazy. I payed for it though >.<

Anyhoo, at the moment I am water fasting. I'm at 42.5 hours. I planned to go until before work tomorrow night, but I don't know.. I'm thinking I should stop at 47 hours and have dinner.. I don't know though.. >.<

Onto another subject; I haven't really exercised since... Tuesday maybe.. I can't even remember.. -.-

Oh, and I'm sick -.- I don't know what it is. I have like the feeling you get in your mouth and throat right before you get sick. You know?

Blahh, I don't know what else to say.. so.. yup..

Keep believing :)
-Kayla <3

Ughh

Hey Hey :)

This morning I weighed myself. I'm addicted. But I only lost 0.2kg/0.04 lb. I seem to be losing less and less -.- This makes me angry and upset :\

I ate breakfast this morning, because I had school and didn't want my stomach to loudly grumble in class >.<

This is all the calories I consumed today:
Water - 0 cals.
Kellogg's Special K Cereal, 1 cup - 120 cals.
Milk 2% 0.125 of a cup - 16 cals.
3 pieces of mint gum - 15 cals.

Total:
151 cals.

I did quite good today :D Hopefully it shows on the scales tomorrow. It's my official weigh in day tomorrow.

Exercise for today:
Speed walked home. 5 mins.
200 sit-ups/crunches.
100 squats.
50 reverse sit-ups/crunches.
And some (don't know how many) elastic arm band pull thingos. (don't know what they're calls :P)

I also did some exercises last night which I can't be bothered typing up :L

Keep on believing my lovelys :3
-Kayla <3

Remember; under 500 cals is better than over

Oheyy :)

I am currently feeling sick. From too much or just what I had at dinner tonight. But that was my only meal today, so that's good :)

This is what I consumed today:
3 pieces of gum - 13.5 cals.
Piece of lasagna - 277 cals. (only at 3 quarters, so it might be less)
Iceberg lettuce, 1 cup (ish) - 8 cals.
Cheese - 27 cals.
Small amount of raw carrot - 3 cals.
2 slices of tinned cucumber - 1 cal.
2 slices of tomato - 8 cals.
2 slices of beetroot - 15 cals.
Water - 0 cals.

Total:
352.5 cals.

All in all, that's not too bad :) Any more than 500 cals and I would of been disappointed. I think I'll be over 500 tomorrow though >.< School makes me hungry..? o.O

I haven't done any exercise today, but I plan to do some before I go to bed tonight. I probably won't achieve 500 sit ups/crunches, but I'll try and get at least 200.

I pumped up my new exercise ball today so hopefully that will give me a wider range in exercises I can do.

If I have time in the morning I'll write a blog :) If not, I'll just write one tomorrow night.

If you want to keep an eye on how my day is going, than check out what I'm up to on my twitter :) http://twitter.com/#!/IWillBBeautiful

Keep on believing :)
-Kayla <3

A Little Disappointed

Hello my lovely's :)

I seriously feel like I'm blogging to no one.. Ohh well.

I weighed in like half an hour ago. I was kind of disappointed.. But  loss is a loss right? Well anyway, I lost 0.3kg/0.66 lb.  I was definitely expecting more.. I guess I didn't loose as much because I ate breakfast yesterday?.. But I would of burnt it off... blahh idk.

So there is pretty much no way I'm going to reach my goal of being 79kg/174.16 lb by Monday morning..  hmm.. well, I'll set a new goal. I want to be under 80kg/176.36 lb by Monday morning. That's achievable :) (oh, it's late Sunday morning by the way.)

Last night before bed I did those crunches and squats I still had to do. I'll write down all of the exercise I did :)

Walking - 20 mins (approx)
Crunches/sit ups - 500
Squats - 100
Scissor leg lifts - 50 each leg.

That's heaps more exercise than I usually do :)  I want to try and do the same today. Except the walking.. It's raining still. I did yesterdays at work.

It's 11:21am at the moment, and my stomach is usually grumbling by now. But it's not today, I guess it getting used to my new eating schedule :)

I hope everyone is doing well

Believe in yourselves.
-Kayla <3

I'm Getting Better At This

Hello there :)

I'm going to blog about my day in order of events.

So, you already know about breakfast, then I went to work. I was on the move the whole time which is good. :)  I came home and did 100 crunches and 10 reverse crunches.  I then didn't really do much until a couple of hours later. I did 200 more crunches. I plan to have done 500 by the end of today. I also want to have done 100 squats as well. 

Today I got hungry wayyy before dinner time. But I resisted. :) Anyhoo, for dinner I had a 2 1/2 inch sausage, a table spoon of mashed potato and a teaspoon of mixed veggies. I left pasta, another sausage, gravy and onion on my plate. No one said anything so that's good. :) But I think they just think I don't like it. Because I'm a fussy eater.

I plan not to eat until tomorrow night, at dinner time.  I want to accomplish 500 crunches and 100 squats tomorrow aswell. What other exercises do you find are good?

Calories consumed today:
1.25 cups of Special K cereal - about 150 cals.
0.25 cups of 2% fat milk - 31 cals
2 1/2 inch beef sausage - 39.5 cals (estimate)
Tablespoon of mashed potato - 21 cals.
Teaspoon of mixed vegetables - 4.63 cals.
Water - 0 cals.

Total intake:
246.13 cals.


I hope everyone's day went well, or is going well if you're in a different time zone. :)

Believe in yourself.
-Kayla <3

Better than I thought

Hello m'darls :)

So, last night I had dinner. It consisted of half a cup of lettuce, 2 slices of beetroot, 2 slices of cucumber (tinned), 2 slices of tomato, a teaspoon of shredded cheese, a table spoon of shredded carrot and a rissole. 

The only thing bad is that I got the grumbles soon after eating it -.- wtf?

Anyhoo, this morning I weighed myself, and I've lost 0.7kg/1.54 lb since yesterday :D  that would of usually taken me like a week if it wasn't or Ana :)

So, this morning I had a cup and a half-ish of special K cereal with 2% fat milk for breakfast. The only reason why I ate was because I have work this morning and I don't want to be light headed and what not.

I won't eat again until dinner tonight (small portion) and then the next time I'll eat is Sunday night at dinner. :)

I'm in a good mood today because I only have 0.6kg/1.32 lb. until I loose that '8' I've been stuck with for so long! :D I plan to be at the most 79kg/174.16 lb by Monday morning :)

I hope you are all doing well and are having a good day :)
-Kayla <3

The Start Of Something New

So, yesterday I started my Ana journey. I didn't eat anything all day. I ate dinner though. I don't know what I'm going to do if I decide to fast for days or what not, because my family have dinner together every night..

Anyway, yesterday wasn't too bad, but I did get quite hungry. I also had head spins every time I got up and couldn't see properly for like 5 seconds. I hated that but, I've had it before so it's no biggy.  I had stir-fry for dinner, so that had lots of veggies in it which is good, but then there's the sauce and meat and everything.. >.<  I'm not that goo at working out calories when food is like mixed and stuff though..

Today, I haven't eaten anything either :) My stomach did have the grumbles before, but I'm fine now. I was getting really bad head spins, but I just had some water and they're less noticeable now.

I weighed myself this morning. I lost 0.8kg/1.76 lb. since I last weighed myself yesterday :)
I have to admit, if I hadn't lost that much, or put on or whatever, I wouldn't be continuing this.

Tomorrow, I have work, so I'll have to eat something before hand, so I don't have head spins and what not. I'll have some special K cereal. Which I'll probably burn off at work because I do lots of running around.

I need to find some ways to exercise without any equipment though.. it's really hard to find motivation when it feels like you're getting no where when you're working out..

Sorry for the ridiculously long blog!

I shall keep you updated loveys :3

-Kayla <3

Introducing Me

First off. Let me introduce myself.
My name is Kayla, I'm 15 (sixteen soon!) and I live in Australia. I'm overweight and I hate it. I've been dieting for nearly 7 months and I HAVE lost weight (11.8kg/26.01 lb.) but not as much as I would of liked in that amount of time.

So, I'm turning to Ana. She will hopefully get me to my goal weight in no time. :)

Starting weight (before diet): 93.8kg/206.79 lb.
Weight before ana: 82kg/180.77 lb.
Current weight: 81.2kg/179.01 lb.
Goal weight (according to BMI): 68kg/149.91 lb.
Ultimate goal weight: 50-55kg/between 110-121 lb.