Sunday, 16 December 2012

It's been too long

It's been a while. I know.

Last week, I did two days of the 30 Day Shred. Yes, I only did two days. But it didn't discourage me that I didn't keep it up. I am still motivated. It motivated me even more to finally get some physical activity.
I liked how I felt afterwards. Just that little bit less of hatred about my body. Just a little.

Anyway. So yesterday I did great. I didn't exercise but I did work for 4.5 hours, so it's some kind of movement at least.

I only ate 185 calories yesterday. So so sooo much less that I have for the past few months. I feel great.

I weighed in this morning weighing 1.6kg less than yesterday. Still at an embarrasingly high weight though. Higher than when I started this blog..

Today I am only going to be eating 90 calories. I did as much exercise as I could (I've pulled a muscle in the back of my thigh, so it was a struggle to do the little that I did.)

I'm really determined though. I can do this. No giving up this time.


It's been too long.
-Kayla <3

Sunday, 19 August 2012

40 Hour Famine

I'm doing the 40 hour famine at the moment. It actually worked out better than I anticipated. There is an hour and a half left. I haven't been able to get my mind in the right place to water fast lately. But I successfully did it this time around. I think it was because I told my family, best friend and boyfriend that I was doing it and I didn't want to fail in front of everyone. It was good. I wish I could tell everyone when I always water fast. That could end badly though.. :P

I'm probably going to binge when this is over though.. :\ But I am determined to make up for it between Monday and Thursday. Going on my 4 day holiday Friday-Monday. I hate that I'll be fat for it, but oh well, there isn't much I can do about it now. I'll just make sure I am skinny for my next holiday. That is why I have decided to start the ABC diet next Tuesday, the day after I get back. Should be good :)

Also, I am going to exercise and do toning exercises this time around, so I don't end up skinny fat again.


I weighed in yesterday at 76.6kg. This morning I weighed in at 74.7kg, not bad for a days worth of water fasting huh :)



I hope everything is going well you all! :)
-Kayla <3

Wednesday, 8 August 2012

If tomorrow never comes..

I haven't really lost any weight.
Just maintaining around the same number.

I did that coffee diet I posted about in my last post for 5 days, but then took a break to eat normally with my boyfriend and have been off the rails since.

He is eating healthy now, but I'm finding it hard to get my head in the game.

I'm going on a holiday in two and a half weeks though, so I need to lose at LEAST 5kg. Do-able.
So, for the next two days I will only consume liquids. Then the next two days I will water fast. That's all I've planned so far. We'll see how that goes.

I want to be exercising everyday, it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's something. I'll start off somewhat easier then build up to super intense and fat burning.

Oh, today I realised that the weight I am at now, I am officially overweight.. :\ 77.2kg jeez. I need to fix that. I can't believe I let it get this far.. ugh.


I CAN DO THIS!


Don't wait for tomorrow.
-Kayla <3


[[EDIT]]

I've decided that I'll eat only salad for the next few days, consisting of lettuce, carrot and cucumber. Less likely to binge this way.

Monday, 16 July 2012

New found love

Coffee; my savior. Last week I was having a little bit of coffee a day. It's grown on me and now I love it. Pretty sure I'm addicted. It puts me in such a great mood. I love it! For the past 3 days (today being the third day) I've only been drinking coffee during the day and then having my regular dinner. I plan on doing this all week and I'm hoping to lose 5kg this week by doing so. At the moment I'm at 0.4kg/5.0kg. So I still have to lose 4.6kg to lose before Saturday morning. I doubt I'll lose a whole 5kg. But that's my goal. Weight this morning 76.1kg. Fuck. Finally back in the right mind set to lose. I need this. <3

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

There's one thing missing

I am absolutely loving life at the moment.

People have literally said that I am glowing.

I went to a bonfire party last weekend and saw friends I haven't seen in nearly a year. I actually socialized and had a good time. It's like I'm a new me. I was speaking to someone on facebook that was at the party and they said that I was so outgoing and bubbly. Those words have NEVER been associated with me before. EVER. It's quite a nice change!

I've just been really confident, talkative and happy lately. I love it.

And it's actually quite surprising, because I am at a higher weight that the weight I naturally maintain. Which is bothering me quite a bit. But I've started cutting down, choosing healthier options and doing toning exercises and some walking. I need to focus on cardio a bit more. To burn this fat.
I don't fit into most of my clothes which is annoying :\
But it can only get better from here, right?


When I lose this weight; life will be perfect <3



You will find happiness.
-Kayla <3

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Wanting isn't enough.

I just want this fat off of me, I don't want to be self conscious of my body anymore. I just want to be happy with my body. Things are going great in my life, except that I look like a tub of lard. So frustrated with myself. I"m going on a holiday at the end of the year. I need to be bikini ready by then. This calls for drastic measures. I need this. -Kayla <3

Monday, 21 May 2012

My mojo is back guys!

I finally have my mojo back! I'm getting back into the beat of things.

Today I had 688 calories. (A little more than I would like, but way less than it has been..)
And I burnt off 201 calories :)
With a net total of 487 :)

Last week I lost 1.5kg, that was just by exercising for a little tiny bit (it was pretty pathetic actually) on one day and just eating a lot less. Because I have been binging on thousands of calories for a few months, constantly, the major drop in calories (keeping it around 1000, probably a little more, or alot.. I didn't want to face the music and count all of them.. :\) But yes, a lot less calories caused me to lose 1.5kg (3.80 lb) in 7 days, so that's nice :)

My goal for this week is to exercise EVERYDAY for at LEAST 20 minutes. Which I am doing the 30DS, so that should keep me on track. Eat below 500 calories, preferably no more than 300. If not, have a net below 500.


In terms of how my life is going at the moment, I am just trying to get my house up so I can get my driving licence (I need 100 in total) I was slack throughout the year, but I really do need it so I can get myself to work ect.) I'm getting way better and more confident with that, so yay :)

Trying to lose as much weight as possible for this party thing in two weeks. Or exercise and restrict enough to not feel AS fat..

Even though I had a decent sized dinner, I'm going to bed hungry.. That just goes to show how my body isn't used to restricting anymore. Hopefully it'll work in my favor and help me lose more ;)


Well, I'm off to dream at the clothes I am going to get when I am skinny, then it's off to bed for more. Work in the morning! Have to get up at 4am again (I did today too) Oh well, I need/love the money. :)

P.S. It's my birthday this coming Wednesday! :D


Never give up hope.
-Kayla <3

Sunday, 13 May 2012

2 1/2 weeks. Let's do this.

I set myself up for failure everyday. It needs to stop.

In 2 1/2 weeks, I am going to a "slumber party" and to a theme park for my friends birthday. I want to be back in the 60's by then. And a comfortable size 14 again. (I am approx 76kg now (wtf have I done to myself, I know) and I'm wearing a tight size 14 aus.)
My plan is to eat mostly fruit and vegetable and only drink water until then. Apart from my birthday, on the 23rd. But I'll be chucking in a few fasting days to make up for it. I also plan to do the 30DS and do 3km at the least on the treadmill each day. Burning everything off.
I am also going to try and start making myself life green tea, and attempt coffee. I need to keep my metabolism up.

I am hoping to lose at least 3ish kg in the first week. And at least maybe 7kg overall. Or just at least feel and look less fat than I do at the moment.

Oh, and I have obviously not continued the diet from last month. Hence the lack of posting. I've been in a binging rut. :\

It's time for change.

Forget your mistakes, start fresh in this very moment.
-Kayla <3

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Ginovanni's 30 day 2 + feelings&emotions

Pretty tired, so just a quick update of how day 2 went.

I worked for the majority of the day again.

I didn't exercise.

Food wise, it wasn't great but it wasn't horrible. It was acceptable, I guess.


I feel like I'm sinking into a hole. I'm starting to need a change in scenery or something. But then I think, maybe I just need to get skinny. And that will be enough change in scenery. But a plus is that I will have confidence, or at least a little, which will result in people being friends with me and such.

I think that's it. The loneliness is getting to me. It just suddenly impacted me today. I think it's because I think one of my managers dislikes me. She's not my cup of tea either, but you know. It put a damper on my day. I know not everyone can get along with each other though.

I feel like I just need a good cry right now. I feel like I can't do anything right. Especially lose this fhucking weight!
Wow, maybe putting my scales away for the week wasn't the best idea? It needs to be done though.

Right now, I am just sick of life. I desperately need something to go well in my life.

I wish with all of my heart that I could find it in me to restrict like I used to. I don't know what has been switched off, that I can't seem to switch back on. I just constantly feel the need to eat. Not hunger though.

I'm never hungry anymore really. But I'm never full. Not even when I binge all day. It's like my stomach is a never ending pit.


I'll probably start only updating every week, the night of weigh in. I don't really have much to update about every other day.

Sorry for the horrendously long rant. I just needed to get some stuff off of my chest. I know I said it was just a quick update at the beginning ;P


I want to feel like a feather in the wind.
-Kayla <3

Monday, 16 April 2012

Giovanni's 30 Day 1

I decided to do 'Giovanni's 30' diet instead of SGD. I feel like because it is new to me, that I will be more likely to stick to it. Hopefully anyway.
It's a cross between ABC, SGD and the apple diet.

This is the plan;


I also planned on restarting the 30 Day Shred today, but today was ridiculously busy. I had work from 5am-1:45pm. Then I came home and got changed and had some fruit, then went back to work for a meeting for a couple of hours. When I got home it was too late to do it :( SO! I am going to do double tomorrow :) Promise.


So, fruit and vegetables don't count as calories on this diet. I was originally going to count them, but I'm going to see how this goes, not counting them, for a week, if I lose a good amount I'll continue, if not, I'll start counting them.

I have also put away my scales, I am going to start weighing myself every Monday, not everyday. Hopefully this will ward off the binges.


Starting weight for this diet is; 162.4 lb (73.6kg) 

I've started weighing myself in pounds instead of kg. Hopefully it makes it look like a bigger loss, which makes me keep soldiering on. :) It also keeps me somewhat oblivious to how much I weigh in kg, until I convert it. 



New plans are the path to new success.
-Kayla <3

Saturday, 14 April 2012

Texting buddies? :) & bad news all round.

I messed up on ABC again.

Going to start Skinny Girl Diet on Monday, but I AM going to count the calories of fruit and veggies. Otherwise I am just going to overeat on them.

I also haven't done the 30 Day Shred in about 4 days. So I'll start that all over again on Monday as well. I actually really like it. I just got busy and lazy.

I was thinking of doing a replacement diet with the shakes and stuff, but I'm not sure if I want to spend all of that money every week. I'm just going to try and restrict until my birthday (23rd May), then have a little treat for my birthday, then straight back to restricting until I am at 50kg or less.

I feel like I need a texting buddy again (my previous one is having to deal with family finding out atm :\ STAY STRONG BOW!) So, if you would like to be my texting buddy, preferably from Australia (because of costs) then comment or email me at iwillbebeautiful@gmail.com
Having someone always there for you to text is kind of like a little bit of healthy competition :D I found that it kept me on track :)


One way or another.
-Kayla <3

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

ABC & 30 Day Shred Day 3

I fucked up day 3.


I did do my 30 Day Shred workout though.

It's day 4 at the moment, I'll make a new blog post about it either tonight or tomorrow morning.

Eating my calories in liquids today. Or I plan to anyway.

It's my dogs birthday today. I love him.

Weight of Day 3: 70.6 (155.64 lb)
Weight-loss since day 2: 0.4kg (0.88 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 1.2kg (2.64 lb)

Help me believe.
-Kayla <3

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

ABC Day 2 & 30 Day Shred Day 2

Sorry that this post is a little later than usual. I was wayyy too tired to write it last night. I had to get up for work at 4am.
I did the 30 Day Shred workout as soon as I got home from work at 9am. Going strong with the exercise.
The struggle was the food. I wanted to just eat.
I kept within my calorie limit though. With some difficulty. I guess I'm not as in the right head space as I thought I was.
I just need to get through the first few days or the first week, then I'll be fine. Hopefully.

Food diary:

Breakfast;
Wholemeal bread
Tomato sauce.
Half a slice of lite cheese.

Lunch;
Veggies with teriyaki sauce.

Snacks;
4 cordial ice cups.
Veggies with cheese sauce.
Small apple.

Dinner;
Uncle Toby's Oats.

Total: 498 calories.
Limit: 500 calories.
Net: 240 calories.


I'll post again tonight, about today.
Oh also, I was going to take a picture of my weight everyday, but I've forgotten for the past 2 days. I'll try and remember to do it everyday, it's hard when I have to get up at 4am though :P

Don't give up. Don't give up. Don't give up.
-Kayla <3

Sunday, 1 April 2012

ABC Day 1 & 30 Day Shred Day 1

I'm back guys! :D

I wouldn't say I'm totally over the binge phase yet though. I must admit, as the day went on I had to talk myself out of eating a whole lot more. But one day at a time. Once I get through this week, then I'll be fine.


And yes guys, I have gained weight. A lot. I'm higher than I was at the start of the year. But that's just what I get for eating 2000-5000 calories everyday for a month and a half.


I also started the 30 Day Shred today! :D I nearly gave up at the beginning. But I pushed through it and it was over before I knew it!
Although, I STILL suck at push ups. A lot.

Breakfast:
Nothing.

Lunch:
Uncle Toby's Creamy Honey quick sachet of oats. Made with water.

Snacks:
Apple, medium.
Roasted cauliflower.

Dinner:
Sourdough roll with tomato, lettuce and cheese on it.
Spicy tomato soup.

Total: 496 calories.
Limit: 500 calories.
Net: 326 calories.


On a totally different note; my sister is trying to lose weight. She is obese. She is dieting with her fiance. This week, he lost more than her (I don't know about over all or anything) and she is pissed. She doesn't understand why she isn't losing more, because she is the bigger of the two.
I think it is because one, male metabolisms are naturally faster. And two, he does more moving around than her. He works 5 days a week, doing something with delivery or stock or something and she work 1-2 days a week, in like 3 hour shifts, either standing not doing much, or not putting much effort into picking up clothes. So, it's totally understandable why he is losing more. But she doesn't see that.
And what scares me is that she only eats 700-800 calories. I REALLY don't want her to have to go through an eating disorder.
Plus, I think because I am lighter than her, and lose weight pretty fast, she thinks because she is bigger than that should be easy peasy for her. Plus I tell my family when they ask that I eat about 1000-1200 calories. So she thinks that she is eating way less and not getting anywhere.
I don't know how to help her without admitting my deepest darkest secret.


Anyway! Enough of that little rant there! :P


I have a weight-loss plan set out for where I want to be at in a week ect. I want to have lost 5kg this week. I think it's doable, considering I lost a little under 5kg in the first week of ABC last time. The difference being I'm exercising this time. So hopefully I'll lose a little more this time around :)
Trying not to put pressure on myself though.


ABC starting weight: 71.8kg (158.29 lb)



Can't take it back, it's too late.
-Kayla <3

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

A pledge

After I posted that huge rant of a post the other day; I had a nap. It calmed me down. Which is nice. But that meant that I didn't have that fight and anger in me still, to follow out the plan.
So, I'm still not back on track.

I've decided I'm not aloud to write another blog after this until I have at least one good day.

I am so over this shit. I am over my failure.

I've gained a ridiculous amount of weight. I don't even want to post what I weighed in at this morning :\ .. I'll post my weight when I'm back on track. So then I'll be losing it so I won't be so ashamed. I just can't right now.


None of my clothes fit again. Or they fit grossly. I'm full on fat again.


Wish me luck, in this endless battle.
-Kayla <3 

Sunday, 18 March 2012

I just want an apology

So. I have obviously been doing horribly. Obvious because the lack of posts.

But today came the motivation that I needed.

My dad went skits at me for no reason. I was just going to the kitchen for a snack (I think I may have B.E.D.) and he started having a go at me.

He told me to fuck off. He was getting really worked  up. I just stared him down for a few seconds and came into my bedroom. He has a history of hitting me. So I'm not taking my chances with him.

But anyway. I've come to the conclusion that everyone is more peaceful when I'm starving. So that is what I shall do. Starve.

I am going to continue starving, plus acting as if he doesn't exist; until he apologizes to me.

So, I'm not eating for the rest of the day. Then tomorrow I'll be starting the ABC diet. But I don't have to meet the calorie limit everyday. Just as long as I don't go over. :)
So, before work tomorrow, I'll have a 59 calories yogurt, then a 37 cal fruit bag after work. But not letting them see me eat.
So the aim of this game is to make them think I am eating nothing. Or little to nothing. They will not have the privileged of seeing the little amount of calories that I do consume. Like I will be. But I am going to make my parents, especially my dad, suffer with worry and guilt.



I just want to scream. I need to get away from here. I'm too fat for any of my clothes though.


Get ready for daily blogs of ABC again! :)


Make them worry.
-Kayla <3

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

My quick updates always turn into super long posts

You can always tell when I'm not doing well. I don't post as much.

I was going to start the ABC again yesterday, but I didn't because I went out with a friend to buy an outfit for a concert on Wednesday, and we got lunch. So I ate whatever I wanted the rest of the day pretty much.. I didn't eat before that though..

But then after that I was like, oh, I can't start it yet anyway, because it is my brothers and sister birthday next week, Monday and Wednesday, so there will be cake and take away for dinner ect.
So I am going to start the ABC diet on the 16th of March. I think I've said that in a different post. But oh well :)
Anyone want to join me? :D

I told my friend that I was still a vegetarian. She said "my mission for today is to make you eat meat!"
My response: "..no.. I don't want to eat meat.."
Her: "You're going to eat meat."
Me: "No I'm not."
Her: "Yes you arrrreee! Why not?"
Me: "I just don't want to. You can't force me. I just don't want to eat it."
Her: "Well, McDonald's doesn't even have real meat in it anyway, so you are going to eat a cheeseburger WITH the meat"
Me: "actually, McDonald's is 100% Beef and chicken"
Her: "yeah. Suuuureee it is."
Me: "It is. I'll seriously print out all of the proof and everything for you. I will go out of my way just to prove to you that it is"
Her: "Sure sure. You're going to eat it anyway"
Me: No I'm not. I'm going to go for at least a year. I'm not eating meat. I feel cleaner. I'll eat lunch with you. Just not the meat."
Her: "A YEAR!? Ha, no. You're definitely eating meat today!"
Me: "no thanks."

She wasn't saying it in a mean way. But it did feel like pressure. I wasn't going to give in of course. I don't have a weakness towards meat anymore.
Gosh, image her if I said I wasn't eating lunch at all. She always tries and pressures me into eating junk food when I am on a specific diet.
She's my longest and only friend. There isn't any hate towards her, she just has different ways of thinking about food is all.

I took my measurement yesterday, when I woke up.

Prepare for a shock.

All of my measurements were down, since the end of ABC. Except my weight and my waist.

My waist was a cm or two up, I think that is because my belly still had food in it. And my weight is up, well, because of this horrible food rampage I am on.

I won't post the actual numbers now, I'll retake them and post them when I start the ABC diet.


I put on the outfit I got for the concert I am going to on Wednesday, to show my mum and dad, today. I like it. They like it. Yay. But I asked if it made me look a little big, because it's a puffy kind of top. My dad literally laughed and said no. Like full on cracked up. He probably thinks I'm crazy.

My dad openly says that I starve myself.
My sister was somewhat teasing me about how much I have been eating lately. It is waaay more than the average person. It is at the point that it is on the higher range of the binge scale. Everyday. I asked her how does she know this (she lives with her fiance). She said mum and dad were talking about it.
I confronted both of them. Separately. Mum tried to deny it as usual. Just got cranky and yelled "Fine! I won't f*cking talk to anyone about anything from now on!"
This is one of her frequently used phrases. Seriously, sometimes I think that she still has a teenage mind set and attitude.
My dad tried to deny it too. He acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. Then he just simply said "I just think it's a bit weird and random that you suddenly went from starving yourself, to wanting all of this food"


Also, my mum, sister, nanny and I were chatting, I think it was about weight or something, they're all obese, and my nanny was like, "gosh, you're not fat Kayla, I wish I was as skinny as you. You'll have to tell me your diet" Mum: Laughs. "No you don't." She then thinks how to word it without making me upset, or something like that. "She counts like, every last calories. It's alot of calorie counting.. and.. just. No you don't want her diet."
Me: "Whaaatt, it's not that bad!" Laughs.



I also took progress pictures yesterday. There isn't too much of a change. Just my tummy is more firm, as in sticking out firm, now, because of all of the food. It makes it look different.

Sunday, the day I went shopping with my friend, was the first time I have comfortably gone clothes shopping with someone that isn't either my mum or my sister. I wasn't ashamed of my size. She was even quite helpful. AND she even called me skinny. Me. The fat friend our entire lives. Skinny. Ha, boy did that make me feel good.
We both were criticizing our own bodies though, she was complaining about her busty chest (but she has a small frame. It is kind of disproportioned, but it's just her genetics) and I was complaining about my belly. And legs.
I definitely need to work on them.


I am pretty much going to eat whatever for the next week and a half. I am going to be so fat when I start he ABC diet.

At least I'll lose it though.

I am aiming to be at 50kg by the end of it. 55kg if my weight is super high by the time I start it.

I'm going to exercise while I am on it too, this time.

I am going to go hard out. I am super determined. My stomach is so fat right now. Ugh. More than usual.


I weighed in at 64.4kg this morning. Well, yesterday morning now. It's nearly 2:30am.

Weighing in now. I am over 66kg. It always goes down by the time I weigh in though. But still. I can't believe I've let myself go this much. But I just can't get in the right mind set. I don't know what it is. Ugh.
I am without a doubt going to be in the right mind set by the time I start the ABC diet again.
Once I get the ball rolling with ABC, I'll be fine.

Also, you know how I barely "went to the toilet" when I was on the ABC diet. Well, now a days, I am going like every day. If not more. It's fricken weird. It's not like I've been eating the most nutritious foods. At all.

I'll update again in a few days, I'll hopefully post some pictures of my from before the concert, in my outfit and what not :)


Don't give up on yourself.
-Kayla <3

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Failure one again. BUT BEST MOOD EVER!

I've had McDonald's for the past few days. Pathetic I know. Plus, then I'm like oh what the hell, I may as well eat everything in sight. -.-

Some days are worse than others.

Today I stayed back 2 hours after work, and started a little early, and it was busy non stop. So I burnt heaps of calories. :) Approximately 854 calories. :)

But, I still ate way more than I am proud of. Over 3000. Yeah. Shit.

Tomorrow, I am working 5 more hours than I was rostered for, in the dinner rush, so I should burn quite a lot of calories. I'm working 8 hours altogether :)  But, I'll probably be eating McDonald's for my dinner on my break, and knowing me I'll probably eat it after work as well. (I work at McDonald's) Don't worry, I always get it without the meat. Still going strong with the vegetarianism. :) I'm normally not as tempted by the food there. Normally not at all really. But lately I've just been like what the hell.

I think the reason why I have been craving and eating everything in sight is because I am due for my period tomorrow. (Today now. I just looked at the clock. 1:30am already!)


A hot guy (tan, blue eyes!) asked me for my number tonight. I asked his age (22) and had to say no, I'm only 16. I told him my age and he was like "Bullshit!" He was full of complements though :) Wish the age gap wasn't so big. He was hot as. Haha ;P (no one (attractive) EVER asks me for my number or anything. It made me feel quite good about myself :))
A nice old gentleman also called me beautiful :)
And a like 12 year old tried to hit on me. It was awkward. In front of all of his mates too. It was quite amusing :P
It's a nice confidence booster though. :)

Tonight, I noticed that my confidence at work has grown SOOOO much! I wonder if it is like that outside of work. I don't know to be honest. I never go out.. ha.

I am in such a great mood right now. Just by reminiscing on my night!

So yeah, overall, my day was bad food wise, good emotionally, confidence wise, mood wise and socially. I'm not even bothered by how much I ate though. I feel great from all of the exercise I did tonight :) I also think the music I am listening to has something to do with it to :P

Tomorrow, I'm waking up and exercising. I'm not going to allow myself to eat ANYTHING until I do. Even if it is ridiculously hot again.
I want to burn at LEAST 500 including work. It all depends on what station I am on at work as to how many calories I burn. And how busy it is.


Feeling really good about tomorrow! :D Omg I love this mood I am in! Ahhhh! :D


This post turned form glum to amazingly bright and happy! haha :D

I love you all! :D

Make tomorrow better than today. Everyday.
-Kayla <3

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Wtf is wrong with me?!

I made it through day one of my water fast. And half of day 2. Then I was like f*ck it. I'm eating. I don't know why. I really don't.
My weight is becoming an issue. I've gained so much. I can't believe I got up to 64kg again. Although I did weigh in at 62.1kg this morning. But that is still way too much.

I need to get out of this binge fast cycle.

Going to try just restricting for a few days. I'm only allowing 350 cals tomorrow. But my absolute maximum is 800. Plus I'm working for 7 hours and I plan to work out after work.

I've decided that I'm starting the ABC diet on the 1st of April. I would start it tomorrow, the 1st of March; but March is just a super busy month. I have a concert in a week, then my brothers and sisters birthday in the middle of March.
I just have to be strong through Easter. On the 8th of April. I will though.

I want to be at my UGW by my birthday. Which is a few days after I will finish the ABC diet :)

I plan on water fasting with a few days of liquid fasting if I need them for like 16 days. Between the 16th and the 31st of March. If I can.. Maybe a few food days in there? I'm not entirely sure yet.

In the meantime, I'm just going to try and be as non-bingey as I can. Exercise everyday, even if it is just a little. At least it will be something. And to be more social! :) I have to step out of my comfort zone sooner or later. Or I'll never be able to live my life.

I didn't exercise today. I was beyond tired. Excuses excuses.

I am going to be so tired in the morning, I have to get up at 5am for work and it's past 12:30am already. Yay -.-


So, I better try and sleep.


Don't give up trying.
-Kayla <3

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Fixing what I broke.

Today I woke up early to go for a jog. I chickened out though. I tell myself that I'll try agan tomorrow. But I don't think I will..

Don't worry, I did run on my treadmill though. I then did my weights/toning exercises. :) I then worked 4.5 hours tonight :)

Tomorrow I plan on exercising in the morning, then going for a reeaaaalllyyyy long walk somewhere. Not sure where to though.

I just want tomorrow to be productive.


I am water fasting again. :)

I had two binge days again. So I have to fix it.

Fasting until further notice. Hopefully I can make it through a 6.5 shift at work on Thursday, without food... Going to be super disappointed if I give in before or even then.

At the moment I am planning out my meals, or lack there of, for next week. And a little of the end of this week. The sad thing is, i want to have binge days. Then fast it off.

I am going to a concert next Wednesday. So I plan to eat two days before it and on the day. Not huge amounts. Like 100-300 cals.


I'm not feeling the affects of this water fast yet. Hoping it stays that way. But my brain is wanting food though. Just for the sake of eating. Disgusting.

Im fasting with a group of lovely people :) its great motivation. :) you can join too if you like. Just at #antifood when you tweet about fasting :)

I weighed in at 64kg (141.09 lb) thus morning.. I think it was because I had eaten right before bed and I only slept for about 4 hours.
I weighed myself tonight and I am 62.5kg (137.78 lb) so thank goodness for that. :)
Can't wait to be at my LW again, lower would be lovely. Hoping to reach that easy enough goal by the end of this fast. Definitely doable. Definitely.

Feeling a little sick at the moment. I think it's because I'm so tired. I should sleep soon.


Do whatever it takes.
-Kayla <3

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Fasting update

I have no been water fasting for about 59 hours. I don't think I am even hungry. I am thirsty though. I just woke up so I haven't had any water yet.

It's all in the mind.

Yesterday I wanted to eat SO bad. My mind did, but I talked myself out of it. Because my body didn't really NEED it.

I even got to the point in telling myself that if I jogged on my treadmill then I could eat the calories I burnt. I did it too. But I had talked we essence into myself by the time I had also done crunches and showered ect.

But doing that, I also made a pact with my mind, that if I was under 60kg tomorrow morning (today now) I would allow myself to eat. (I knew it would probably turn into a binge day, but I'm ok with that. Liquid fasting for 4 days after)

Guess what. I'm under 60kg. I didn't think I would be to be honest. I was 61.3kg yesterday so I was like pshh there's no way in the world I'll lose a big number again. But I did. I am now down to 59.3kg. That's my lowest weight yet. It doesn't feel like it though. I don't feel like my body feels the same as when I reached my LW on ABC.
Maybe it's because I know as soon as I eat I'll gain.

So. I am conflicted.
Do I eat and break my fast at 60 hours. Resulting in a binge day, but making up for it with a 4 day liquid fast.
Or do I continue water fasting one more day and only eat a yogurt and an apple a day for 4 days.


My mind just really wants food. Judnckndinc

I guess if I ate today then I could get it out of my system.. But then there's the chance that I'll still want more of it in the days after..

Sorry. I'm just thinking out loud here.


I think I'll eat today. ONLY if I do my toning exercises right now and also be really good this week. The second one is harder to keep, it's in the future after all. But as long as I have it in my head that I'm not aloud to mess up, then I'll do it.

Going to start jogging in the mornings, starting tomorrow. I feel like it will be much easier then jogging on a treadmill.

Yesterday, when I was in my new workout clothes (a fitted sports top thing) he said I have a very flat stomach. I then proceeded to point out that is in fact not flat, as it sticks out at the bottom.
He said that that is just loose skin from loosing so much weight and that it will snap back in no time. I disagreed. It is fat. You can all see that from my before and after ABC pictures.
He told me to look in the mirror. I said I do look n the mirror? He then took me in front of a mirror and showed me my 'flat stomach'. I continued to point out the unflatness of it. My mother was in the room and I asked "do you see it? You see it hey?" she said she does see what I mean. That kind of hurt me but motivated me at the same time.
I think my dad felt a little annoyed at my mum because I think he suspects I have an ED. and you don't say that to someone who has an ED. He is always trying to convince me that I'm thin.


Sorry for the beyond long post.

I'm putting off eating, I think :P
I'm not going to eat until the 60 hour mark.

I need to start remembering to take my multivitimans in the morning.


Starting weight of water fast: 63.0kg (138.89 lb)
Water fast weightloss: 3.7kg (8.15 lb)
Current weight: 59.3kg (130.73 lb)
Duration: 60 hours.


It's all I'm your mind. Be strong.
-Kayla <3

Friday, 24 February 2012

Biggest binge in the history of binges

Yesterday was horrible.

I had a tea before work. I then was like "oh, why not just have a chocolate yogurt too"

I then worked for 4 hours.

I then bought a ridiculous amount of food after work.
I put most of it in my bag before my mum saw it. I only ate one thing in the car with her. She then went to work and I ate the rest. The rubbish is still in my bag because she came home early so I didn't have time to throw it out. I had like a sandwich, banana bread, apple juice, a big cookie and a chocolate frappe.
I then had a box of cookies with hot chocolate a little white after that. I was uncomfortably stuffed again. Wanting to purge. But mum was still at home, so I couldn't.
I just kept waiting for her to leave the room or house so I could eat more.

About three hours late I had potato wedges and vegetarian dippers.
I ate the majority of what I had cooked. But had to eat the last quarter of what I did slowly and over time. I was nauseously full. But I kept eating.

I then was at the point of wanting to die because I was so full. My brother was home from school and I literally begged him to eat the rest of the food I had cooked because I was stuffed. (he didn't know I was THAT stuffed though) He happily obliged.

I then decided in that moment that I would start a water fast right then and there.

I lasted about  4.5 hours. Pathetic, I know.

I had an ice cream cone with loooootssss of ice cream.

I then had another of those.

I also had a piece of wholemeal toast with avocado on it.

Then like half an hour later, I had a piece of raisin toast with butter.
I then had another. I struggled to finish the second. I had to eat it super slow. But I ate it. Because I'm a fat arse.

That was everything I had.
The calorie count is beyond horrible.


So, today I am making up for it with a water fast. Hoping to go for 3 days. At least.

It's not a question of whether my body can handle it right now. It's just my brain. I'm going strong for now though. It's 3:30pm.

I did arm toning exercises this morning. With my new weights. I also did 120 crunches.
I was going to run on my treadmill for a while this morning as well, but I ran out of time.

I went shopping today and bought a new sports bra/top thing and sports shorts, to go jogging in. Going to start asap. If it isn't raining tomorrow I'll go then, if I'm not too light headed from fasting.
My fat arse needs it though.

If I don't start this weekend, I am starting Monday, since I have all night shifts this week, so I can get up early to go :)


I have put on an unbelievable amount of weight. But I am hoping that it will be gone by the time I finish fasting.

I weighed in at 63kg this morning. Ew.

I want to be back down to my LW of 59.5kg when I weigh in on Monday morning. Or sooner. I then am only eating 1 small apple and 1 no fat yogurt a day until I am at 55kg. Deal.

I have also made a decision to be more social. I am sick of having no social life outside of work.

I also want to go on a holiday. To a really nice beach. It will be my motivation.

All I need is one good day. Then I'll be back on track. Just one day. I can do this.




Fix what has been ruined.
-Kayla <3

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

First time purging. Kind of.

Yesterday and the day before I ate a lot. But it was pretty much all fruit and veggies. I even lost weight.
Today I ate a lot. It was pretty much not fruit and veggies.
I was boredom eating pretty much. All day.

My body couldn't take it anymore once I had finished my second helping of dinner. I ate every bite. While my body was screaming at me to stop. I just didn't. My mind was saying 'just one fat day and then you can back to restricting. It'll boost your metabolism'
It fricking better boost it. That mind of thinking made me scoff down everything and anything. Because 'I'll make up for it. So why not'

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

I went to sit on the couch and watch tv when I had finished dinner. Like the fat pig I am, and I just stood there for a few seconds. I seriously thought I was going to throw up all over the floor. I decided I needed some privacy. In case I did throw up everywhere. So I took a shower. So my family wouldn't suspect anything.
I was in a world of discomfort. I couldn't stand up straight because I was so stuffed. I decided I needed to try and purge. Even though I had tried plenty of times in the past and had been unsuccessful.
It only took me about two trys and I got a significant amount up in one gag. I then could only get little bits up after that. Dinner consisted of rice with sauce. Rice. Omfg. One of the hardest foods to get up, for even the most experienced of purgers. I started to panick and had a bit of a breakdown. During this breakdown I decided I needed to get clean again. I decided that I'm only drinking tea with a tiny bit of skim milk in it for the next three days.
I didn't get up even a quarter of dinner. But I did get up some. And you know what. I'm proud of myself for doing that. I just wish I had some lax.. But I have work early tomorrow, so that'd be a mistake.
I am still in discomfort. I am curled up in a ball in bed. I still can't stand up straight comfortably.
I do believe my throat will be sore in the morning.

All I could think of while I was having a bit of a mini breakdown in the shower was that I never wanted to eat again.
But you know what; as my stomach is settling down, all I can think of is eating after I finish work tomorrow. 'having control'. F*ck you mind. F*ck you.

I'm never going to let myself eat that much again.



To be clear; I don't think this is an aftermath of ABC. I think this is just the way of my eating disorder. Of my mind. Thinking that I can 'eat normally' with control, but I get too cocky and go overboard.

I think this just makes me more determined.


P.S. not sure if I am going to be blogging every single night like I was for ABC. I only will if something worth blogging about happens. :)
Oh! Also, I got invited to go on a holiday in late November of this year. It's at a beach, so I need to be all toned and bikini ready by then! No excuses! I've got plenty of notice!

AAANNDD, I don't remember if I tweeted or blogged about this, either way, I have mostly night shifts next week, so I am going to start jogging in the morning! :D I just need to get a fitting sportsbra! :S


Push through it.
-Kayla <3

Monday, 20 February 2012

ABC before & afters

Not particularly keen on posting the before and after pictures.. Be warned; they're pretty gross..



Measurments:

Before:

Waist: 76cm
Hips: 98 cm
Thigh: 61cm
Upper arm: 32.5cm
Neck: 31cm
Calf: 35cm

After:

Waist: 65cm
Hips: 91cm
Thigh: 56cm
Upper arm: 26cm
Neck: 28cm
Calf: 31.5cm

Difference:

Waist: 11cm
Hips: 7cm
Thigh: 5cm
Upper arm: 6.5cm
Neck: 3cm
Calf: 3.5cm


I went from a tight size AUS 14 to a comfortable AUS 10! :D
I haven't been a AUS 10 since I was like.. 10 years old.. Woah.. (I started putting on weight when I was about 9..)



Not too shabby indeed :)


Way too much room for over eating on this fruit and vegetable diet I was planning on doing for 10 days. After today I am starting the 2-4-6-8-0 diet :) Until March. :)

I feel like I'm forgetting to put something into this post..


Never give up.
-Kayla <3

Sunday, 19 February 2012

ABC Day 50 - A feeling of accomplishment

The last day of ABC. Woah. I feel like it's more of a lifestyle than a diet now a days though.
Looking back, it seems like it went by really quickly..

I will post before, during and after pictures tomorrow. Along with before and after measurements and weight.

Like a 'in conclusion' blog.


So, today was a fast day. To tell you the truth, I have pretty much no energy right now. I think it's because I worked out this morning..
I know right! Shocking much! :P

Food diary:

Water.

Limit: 0 calories.
Total: 0 calories.


So, for the remaining 10 days of this month I have decided to do a fruit and veggie diet. (sorry if I mentioned that yesterday, I can't remember..)
I stocked up on fruit and vegetables today, so yay :)

Then in March, I am going to of course keep my calories low, but I am going to try new recipes and foods. Whilst staying vegetarian. :)

I am going to try and eat lots of iron rich fruit and veggies, to try and clear up the bruises that cover my legs. Literally. :\

So, for exercise this morning; I did 1 minute of jumping jacks, 1 minute of jumping around dancing and what not. Then 20 minutes on the treadmill and 20 squats. I burnt 82 calories. Not as much as I would have liked. But it's something.

Mum is buying me some weights tomorrow, to tone up my arms :)

Going to alternate cardio and strength days.

My family is eating dinner at the moment. Both of my parents asked what I was having for dinner, before. I just said "I dunno".
When I say that, I think they assume that I'm not eating. Because I ALWAYS know what I am going to have.

Just realized I still have to make my salad for tomorrow's lunch. Gah, I just want to go lay in my bed.
Oh well, it doesn't take too long.

I've drunk a decent amount of water today. But I could have probably drank more.
Going to go drink some after I finish typing this. I just realized how thirsty I am..

Hoping to get down to 55kg by the end of February.


Weight-loss today: 0.2kg (0.44 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 11.6kg (25.57 lb)
Weight: 59.5kg (131.17 lb)


Anything can be accomplished.
-Kayla <3

Saturday, 18 February 2012

ABC Day 49 - YAY YAY YAY!

Not only YAY because it's the second last day of ABC! YAY because I went thrift store shopping today, and it turns out I've dropped 2 sizes while on the ABC diet! AAANNNDDD I'm below 60kg! FINALLY! :D

I took mum to get our pedicures today, for her birthday. I also decided to make that my reward for reaching my original GW. :) Along with all of the clothes I bought today. I got SOOO much for under $30! :D

I feel like today was super productive. The only thing that would have made it better; was if I exercised. But normally, on my days off of work, I just sit around at home. So it was nice to get out for once :)


I realized that I have to get up at 5am for work on Monday; the day after I finish ABC. I was planning to measure myself and take progress pictures then.. So.. yeah I don't know.. I was thinking just get up 15 minutes early? Maybe 20.. just in case.. it shouldn't take THAT long though.. I hope not anyway..

Fasting tomorrow! :D

Still so unsure of what I am going to do after ABC! It's so close though!
I am trying to find instant oatmeal that you just have to add boiling water to, so I can eat it at work. To do the oatmeal diet.. But I can't find any that you don't have to microwave.. :\

I will definitely make a decision before my parents go shopping tomorrow.


Food diary:

Breakfast:
2 egg whites.

Snacks:
2 cordial ice cups.
Half a frozen banana.

Dinner:
Cup of tomato soup.

Total: 148 calories.
Limit: 150 calories.


Might take a bunch of pictures with my new clothes on tomorrow :D I may post some :) I guess it all depends on if I am too lazy or not to do it.. :P

Also, I'm trying to find somewhere in Australia to buy Nike bras.. does anyone know where to get them?.. They aren't on the online Australian Nike store.. so.. I'm not sure..

Keen to be under 130 lb :D

Weight-loss today: 0.4kg (0.88 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 11.4kg (25.13 lb)
Weight: 59.7kg (131.61 lb)


Imagine what you could accomplish.
-Kayla <3

Friday, 17 February 2012

ABC Day 48

Two days left. It's unbelievable.

At the moment I am going over some diet options for after ABC. I was just going to eat whatever and just keep under 500 cals, varying it each day. But I think I want to go with something more structure... I'm thinking Russian Gymnast Diet? Or cabbage soup diet? But I need to find a cpvegetarian cabbage soup diet if I do.. I've never had tofu.. So I'm not sure what to substitute the meat for..

Today I came home and slept for. Couple of hours. I was s tired. I still am.

I keep getting cramps in my calves. I was half asleep and told mum. She asked. E if I'm still taking my vitamins, I told her I wasn't because when I was taking both my heart felt funny. She suggested to just take the multivitamin one because that has magnesium in it, which helps prevent cramps. Or something like that anyway.

Getting a pedicure with mum tomorrow. Have to get up early to wash my hair and what not. At the moment I can't even think about going out tomorrow. Work wore me out this week.


Food diary:

Breakfast:
1 piece of whole meal toast.

Lunch:
Salad.

Snacks:
Small frozen banana.
3 cordial ice cups.

Dinner:
Roasted cauliflower.

Total: 199 calories.
Limit: 200 calories.

Only two days left to get under 60kg. 3 weigh ins left. Starting to doubt that I won't be able to do it.. :/


Weight-loss today: 0.3kg (0.66 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 11.0kg (24.25 lb)
Weight: 60.1kg (132.49 lb)


Just keep pushing on.
-Kayla <3

Thursday, 16 February 2012

ABC Day 47

I worked from 6am until 1pm today. I was in THE best mood all day at work. It was great! I'm not really sure why though! :P

I don't feel like I'm on a diet anymore.. Like all fresh and clean.. It's like my body is so used to the restriction of food that it just doesn't feel like I'm restricting anymore.. This leads me to thinking; should I cut down even more?...
Maybe it's because I don't drink enough water? That may be it.. I'd be lucky to have dupe inked 5 cups today.. At the very most.. :S
Going to try and drink heaps more tomorrow. It's somewhat hard though. Because of work.. But I'll try and work around it :)


Food diary:

Breakfast:
1.5 mini quiches.
A little taste of custard.

Lunch:
Small white tea with skim milk.
McDonald's fruit bag.
2 mini quiche.

Snacks:
4 cordial ice cups.
Small frozen banana.

Dinner:
Roasted cauliflower.

Total: 298 calories.
Limit: 300 calories.


A 9 hour shift tomorrow.. Yay for the money and distraction from food. But boo if it goes super duper slow...

Fridays are usually pretty busy though. :)
I start at 5am. So I have to get up at 4am :/ so I don't expect to lose weight tomorrow. I never seem to when I have to weigh in super early in the morning.


Weight-loss today: 0.4kg (0.88 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 10.7kg (23.58 lb)
Weight: 60.4kg (133.15 lb)

We make each other strong.
-Kayla <3

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

ABC Day 46

Today was busy.

I woke up late because my phone decided to turn itself off during the night. Even though it had a full batterie from being on charge.. My dad woke me up after realizing I wasn't getting ready. So iPad 5 minutes to rush and get ready.
I was then super tired at work all morning.
I then came home and nad a half an hour nap. My sister and her fiancé came over and was chatting to my mum, so it took me a while to fall asleep.
I then went to the salon and finally got my hair cut! :D that took a couple of hours.
I then went home to guzzle down a cup of water and then I went to a meeting at work. Which lasted a couple of hours.
Then I came home and it was dinner time and all the rest that come along with night time.
I am now in bed more than ready to go to sleep.


Food diary:

Breakfast:
1 minin quiche.

Lunch:
Salad.

Snacks:
Half a mini quiche.
2 cordial ice cups.
Small frozen banana.

Dinner:
Roasted cauliflower.

Total: 190 calories.
Limit: 200 calories.


I had gained when I weighted in this morning. I am hoping it was because I drank water later than usual last night, and weighed in at like 4:45 this morning.. I don't expect to lose tomorrow morning. Peter though. Another ear,ya start. Same with the day after that too..

Getting a LEDs ure with my mum (her birthday present from last month) on Saturday :) I've never gotten one before.. For some reason I am nervous.. Haha :P

I don't have enough lettuce left for my lunch tomorrow. So I have had to improvise. I worked it out in the end though :)

Oh! The workers at the salon I go to kept commenting on how much weight I have lost! :D made me feel good! :)


I have recently developed a dislike to how I smile.. I used to kind of like it and accept it. Now I don't really like it at all.. Not sure why the change though.. O.o

4 days left! :D


Weight-gain today: 0.7kg (1.54 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 10.3kg (22.70 lb)
Weight: 60.8kg (134.04 lb)


Sleep will make it all better.
-Kayla <3

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

ABC Day 45

I feel a binge lingering, waiting to pounce. Going to be strong and hopefully it will pass in no time.

I got called into work today. At 5:30am. So I didn't end up eating until like 1:30pm or so.

I made quiche  today. It is amazing. I didn't go overboard on it though. I only had the amount I had planned on allowing myself. It could have turned into a binge. But I didn't let it.

Food diary:

Lunch:
2 mini quiche.
Roasted cauliflower.

Snacks:
5 cordial ice cups.
Frozen banana.

Dinner:
Egg white omlette.

Total: 246 calories.
Limit: 250 calories.


I weighed in at a new low weight this morning! :D

Busy day tomorrow. Work in the morning for 5.5 hours, then I'm getting my hair cut (that usually takes a couple of hours, with the washing, cutting and styling) and then I have to go to a meeting for work straight after that. Then It's around about dinner time. Haven't had a busy day in a while.. I usually just work and then do nothing at home the rest of the day..


Weight-loss today: 0.6kg (1.32 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 11.0kg (24.25 lb)
Weight: 60.1kg (132.49 lb)

Never stop believing.
-Kayla <3

Monday, 13 February 2012

ABC Day 44

I feel like I don't have much to blog about today. But I'm sure it'll turn into a gigantic post as usual :P

I worked for 5 hours this morning. It was super slow though. So I didn't burn as many calories as usual.

When I got home, I didn't allow myself to consume any calories until I had done 100 crunches and 10 reverse crunches. Going to do them as soon as I wake up tomorrow :)

Food diary:

Breakfast:
1 rice cake with avocado spread.

Lunch:
Salad.

Snacks:
3 cordial ice cups.
Small frozen banana.

Dinner:
Egg white omlette.

Total: 199 calories.
Limit: 200 calories.


Going to make some egg white quiche tomorrow. 33 calories each :) Hopefully they turn out alright.. haha :P

I really need to go bra shopping. I only have like one or two that aren't too big now.. and those that do somewhat fit were too small before. Yay for progress, but not for my bank account :P

Also, I only have like one pair of shorts that fit. Well, the last time I tried them on they fit.. Not as tight of course. But they're the only ones that are wearable in public.
AND I bought a belt to go around my waist with a dress late last year, and I tried it on just the other day. It is loose now! I was like 'woah!' It used to fit snugly!


Really in the mood for cooking. But I don't want to cook anything like baking or whatever, because I don't want to be tempted to binge on it. Only cooking safe foods for now.

Told you it would be a long post ;P

Gained. Not entirely sure why.. it's so frustrating.

Weight-gain today: 0.3kg (0.66 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 10.4kg (22.92 lb)
Weight: 60.7kg (133.82 lb)

Think about it; no one ever regrets working out.
-Kayla <3

Sunday, 12 February 2012

ABC Day 43 - 100th post!

Happy 100th post to me! :D thank you to each and every one of you that take the time to read me posts! :D

I did 100 crunches and 20 reverse crunches today. That's the only exercise I did though. I got really motivated to do so e form of exercise after looking at thinspo tumblr's. :)

I asked my mum if she could look around for a medicine ball for me and today she came home with an exercise ball.. Like a blow up one. You know?
Well, hat would be great. Except I already have one.. And she knows I do.. So yeah.. Idk. She's going to return it haha :P


I didn't get all too hungry today.
Omlettes are super filling :3

After today, there is only 7 days left of the ABC diet. 1 week. Woah.

I'm excited for the accomplishment of it. But I'm kind of nervous. Nervous that I'll go food crazy. Yet on the other hand; I don't think I will.. I feel like ABC has taught me control. But you can never really tell what will happen with Ana.

I started working on my food plan for after ABC. I was just kind of adding food that I think will be quite enough and it actually stayed somewhat low cal. Ranging from 300 to 500. 500 seems like a scary big amount though.. So I might have to alter that..
I also plan to only eat liquids one day. And also water fast on one aswell.

I am wanting to try Greek yogurt also. :) Although it is pretty high calorie.. That is what is bumping the calories up so much. But it would Benefit me so much. Because I've been not eating as much nutrients as I could be..
Maybe I should just leave that until after February?.. Yeah I think I might..


Foods diary:

Lunch:
Egg white omlette (tomato, spinach, 2 egg whites, avocado spread, mushroom)

Snacks:
4 cordial ice cups.
Skim milk.

Dinner:
Egg white omlette (same as lunch)
Egg white omlette (same as lunch except with tomato sauce instead of avocado spread)

Total: 194 calories.
Limit: 200 calories.

Sorry for the super duper long post! I didn't mean to ramble for so long haha :P

Hoping to be 60kg by Wednesday, it's when I am finally getting my hair cut. I want it to be a reward. May or may not cancel if I haven't reached that goal yet.


Weightloss today: 0kg (0 lb)
ABC weightloss: 10.7kg (23.58 lb)
Weight: 60.4kg (133.15 lb)

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
-Kayla <3

ABC Day 42

I have found a new love; egg white omelettes!
I had so many today. But yet I still kept way under my calorie goal :)

I got called into work today. So I worked for 4 hours. I was on the more active station too. So yay for calorie burning :D

I worked until 11pm. The only problem with that is that it messes up my sleeping pattern ( I was JUST getting into a pattern too :\) and also that means I consume liquids late. I'm also thirsty after work, so I have water.. It'll probably make me gain in the morning.. But at least I'll know it's water weight.. But still.:\
(that's why this post is so late tonight)

I also did 100 crunches today.


Food diary:

Lunch:
Egg white omlette

Snacks:
60ml skim milk
4 cordial ice cups.
1 rice cake with vegemite.

Dinner:
2 egg white omlettes.

Total: 223 calories.
Limit: 250 calories.

(All of the egg white omlettes had different fillings. I'll probably post a recipe on my recipe page when I get it up)


I unexpectedly lost this morning. I was honestly surprised when I looked at the number. I just didn't feel like I would have lost. But I'm definitely happy that I did, of course. :)

I really want to get a medicine ball. So I can do laying down push up things. I say it on The Biggest Loser. :P I am absolutely terrible at push ups. So hopefully that would be a good alternative to me. I'm going to look around for one :)

It's feeling impossible to get below 60kg right now. It's like I just can't seem to get low enough :\


Weight-loss today: 0.7kg (1.54 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 10.7kg (23.58 lb)
Weight: 60.4kg (133.15 lb)

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so proud of you.
-Kayla <3

Friday, 10 February 2012

ABC Day 41 - Home stretch!

Only 10 days left after today!


Today, at the end of day 41, I feel in need of a fast. But there isn't one scheduled until next Sunday. The last day of ABC.

Going to try and keep it light tomorrow.

I feel like I'm having a salt overdose. But I don't know why. I don't really eat all that much salt..? O.o

I worked for 8.25 hours today. Burning lots of calories :D

But I doubt that I'll lose tomorrow. I just feel like I'll gain.. Maybe because I recently ate and drank water.. So I don't feel empty.. Hm. Maybe.

Seriously all I can freaking taste is salt! Ugh wtf. It's making me feel sick and yuck.

Food diary:

Breakfast:
1 plain rice cake.

Lunch:
Salad.

Snacks:
1 tomato slice.
4 cordial ice cups.
Frozen banana.
1 rice cake with Vegemite.
Skim milk.

Dinner:
Egg white omelet with spinach (3 egg whites)
Roasted cauliflower.
Tomato sauce.

Total: 295 calories.
Limit: 300 calories.


If I don't lose when I weigh in on Sunday morning; then I am going to eat my calories in liquids. To hopefully lose weight..


Weight gain today: 0.4kg (0.88 lb)
ABC weightloss: 10.0kg (22.04 lb)
Weight: 61.1kg (134.70 lb)


Just keep trying.
-Kayla <3

Thursday, 9 February 2012

ABC Day 40

I've been craving fruit lately. So I am thinking about doing a fruit and dairy diet for the 10 days of February left after the ABC diet.

Today I worked for 6.5 hours, I was on a more active station today, so I would have burnt more calories :)

My lunch was also smaller.

Feeling like I could eat a mountain of food though.. So random. Haven't really had cravings this whole diet.. So it's super strange. Might be because it's that time of the month AGAIN. My body is so out of wack. I've been getting my period every second week three times now. Not. Cool.

A co-worker noticed and mentioned my weightloss today. Made my day. :)

I didn't end up getting my hair cut today. Don't know when I'm going to get it cut now.


Food diary:

Breakfast:
2 rice cakes, plain.

Lunch:
Salad.

Snacks:
4 cordial ice cups.
Frozen small banana.
Skim milk.

Dinner:
2 slices of tomato.
1 rice cake.
A quarter of a piece of lite cheese.
Tomato cup of soup.

Total: 322 calories.
Limit: 350 calories.

Burnt way over that. So yay :)


Even though I've been eating quite comsitently and quite a bit. I've still been getting head spins..? O.o

Woke up really cold this morning. My mum said she was hot. So she wouldn't put her car window up. -.-


Weightloss today: 0kg (0 lb)
ABC weightloss: 10.4kg (22.92 lb)
Weight: 60.7kg (133.82 lb)


Fight through the hurt.
-Kayla <3

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

ABC Day 39

Today was interesting.

I started work at 7am. I had a rice cake before work; for breakfast.
But a couple or so hours later I seriously felt like I was going to vomit. Like my breathing became like it does right before you throw up. Not sure how to explain it..
I thought I was going to have to be sent home.
But it passed. Thank goodness. I felt even better after I had my meal break.

I also felt short of breath today. Not sure why though..

I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night.
I gained weight.
I think my weight-loss has to do with how much sleep I get. Because I seem to lose a whole lot more when I sleep longer..
I need to regulate my sleeping pattern again.


Food diary:

Breakfast:
1 plain rice cake.

Lunch:
Salad (lettuce, beet root, coleslaw)

Dinner:
Potato bake.

Snacks:
2 cordial ice cups.
Small frozen banana.
Lettuce.

Total: 399 calories.
Limit: 400 calories.

I worked for 6.5 hours today. That is the only exercise I got. I planned on going for a long walk this afternoon, but mother nature decided it was time for rain. And lots of it.

I don't feel like I'll lose tomorrow.
But it'll just make me more determined.


Keen for some sleep. Another early and long day tomorrow. AND hopefully getting my hair styled/trimmed for the first time in nearly a year! :P :)

I feel like I'm going to be more motivated with a hair cut. Like I'll want to be as skinny as I can. Because if I'm skinny then my hair will look even better! :D


Weight-gain today: 0.4kg (0.88 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 10.4kg (22.92 lb)
Weight: 60.7kg (133.82 lb)


Take care.
-Kayla <3

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

ABC Day 38

My hair is so dry.. It's like I've straightend it to death. But I haven't used any heat products on it for nearly a year.:S going to get it trimmed ASAP. Hopefully it helps or something.. I started taking Hair Skin Nails tablets yesterday so yeah.

My dad won't shut up about my weight. He plain out asked me how much I have to lose until I'm at my GW (I've been 'dieting'for a while. I used to be obese) I said "but then you'll know my weight." (to try and get him off my back because otherwise he would want me to stop 'dieting' if he knew how close I was to the GW that I tell them. He replied with "no I won't. I don't kw yu goal weight" me: "don't lie. I told you it yesterday." brother: "it's 60 right? 60kg? Am I right? Is it 60?" I then ignored them and continued what I was doing. With my brother ruining my dads ambush.
He was going on all afternoon about how I am just 'skin and bones'
Wtf. No I'm not. I'm not even close. I guess I cover my fat well, and only let my alright parts of my body show. Like my collar bones for instance. They're looking pretty nice :) but my stomach and legs are still looking disgusting. I can see progress in them. Just not enough yet.


Food diary:

Lunch:
Roasted cauliflower.

Snacks:
Tea with milk. (only drank a few sips though.)
3x cordial ice cups.

Dinner:
Potato wedges.

Dessert:
Frozen banana (is so good!)

Total: 417 calories.
Limit: 450 calories.


Exercise: 100 crunches.


I'm going to start going for 5k walks with my dad again. Hopefully it helps make my thighs and stomach look better. Because I am so slack at using my treadmill. I get so bored on it :/ I need a new playlist I think.. Or someone to keep me entertained. :)

I am also going to try and eat whatever I eat in my day in front of my parents. Especially my dad. To try and get him off of my back.
When I had finished my frozen banana, I was like "that was so good!" he was like "well at least that's something you like eating then.."
So my parents are probably going to buy heaps of bananas now. But I can't eat them too often because of the calories in them.. And I've already it my diet plan worked out for the tpnext two weeks.


Sorry for the ridiculously long post!


Weight-loss today: 0.3kg (0.66 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 10.6kg (23.36 lb)
Weight: 60.3kg (132.93 lb)


For the feeling you get when you see a lower number.
-Kayla <3

Monday, 6 February 2012

ABC Day 37

Today went well.
I ate one rice cake when I woke up for work at 5am. I then didn't have solids until about 6:45pm. The only thing I had in between was ice cups and water :)

I didn't exercise. I had pretty much no energy, because I kept waking up like ever 2 hours last night, worried that I would sleep through my alarm.

My dad has taken a liking to calling me 'Bones'. He says "you've got bones sticking out everywhere!"  I don't though. I wish.
I think I might need to start covering up more.. It'll be easier in winter. It's just so hot right now.
He was also saying "you don't want to die from Anorexia, do you now."
And asked me how much more I want to lose. I told him I just want to get to 60kg (wanting to get to 50kg now though) and he was like "how much do you weigh now?" Me: "not 60. More than 60." Dad: "How far off?" Me: Why do you want to know anyway?" Dad: "You can't be too far off. You're all bones" Me: "No I'm not." End.


Food diary:

Breakfast:
1 rice cake.

Snacks:
5x cordial ice cups.

Dinner:
Rice.
Korma sauce.

Total: 491 calories.
Limit: 500 calories.


I feel like I'm forgetting to put something in this post that I was trying to remember all day.. :P


Weight-loss today: 0.8kg (1.76 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 10.5kg (23.14 lb)
Weight: 60.6kg (133.60 lb)

New LW! :D


Until you reach your goals and beyond.
-Kayla <3

Sunday, 5 February 2012

ABC Day 36

I love fasting.

I didn't even feel hungry today.
It's great.


I didn't exercise today.
I am going to tomorrow though. Plus I have work.

Food diary:

Nothing but water.

Total: 0 calories.
Limit: 0 calories.

I got some Skin, Hair and Nails vitamins today :) hopefully they work.


I got my roster for next week. That means I now have the rest of the ABC diet food plan worked out :)

Lots of calories this week. More than I'm used to. It's a 500 calorie day tomorrow. Woah.

I gained. I'm not surprised by it though. Considering how late I ate. It's not as much as I thought it would be either.


Weight-gain today: 0.3kg (0.66 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 9.7kg (21.38 lb)
Weight: 61.4kg (135.36 lb)


You only live once.
-Kayla <3

ABC Day 35

Today was a calorie burning sort of day :)

When I woke up I got on the treadmill. I didn't last all too long though.. I need to find a way to entertain myself while I'm on it. I burnt 43 calories on the treadmill.

I then had breakfast.

I had planned to eat something else aswell, before work, but I got called in a few hours early.

I burnt about (underestimating) 763 calories at work. :)

I was under my calorie limit by heaps by the end of the day. So I ate when I got home from work. Even though it was super late. But I thought it'd be in my best interest to try and get my metabolism up and running.

Fasting day tomorrow :) which is also a factor as to why I decided to et so late.

Anyway.


Food diary:

Breakfast/lunch:
Uncle Toby's Oats.

Dinner:
Salad.

Snacks:
1 cordial ice cup.
Uncle Toby's Oats.
4 rice cakes with Vegemite.

Total: 448 calories.
Limit: 450 calories.


I expect to gain when I weigh in tomorrow morning. As a result of eating so late. But hopefully it will all be good because I'm fasting tomorrow :)

Oh! As of today, I have lost EXACTLY 10kg on the ABC diet! :D I'm so happy! :) When I realized, during the day, I just couldn't wipe the grin off of my face. It was a great feeling!


Weight-loss today: 0.7kg (1.54 lb)
ABC weightloss: 10.0kg (22.04 lb)
Weight: 61.1kg (134.70 lb)


It's all worth it.
-Kayla <3

Friday, 3 February 2012

ABC Day 34

I feel like I ate heaps today.
But I kept within my calorie limit.


I'm in the process of making a recipe page for my blog, with all of my favourite low calorie recipes that I have tried :)

I didn't workout today. Apart from work for 6 hours. So hopefully that makes up for it.

Food diary:

Breakfast:
1 piece of wholemeal toast.
1 egg white.

Lunch:
Salad.

Snacks:
6x cordial ice cups. (way too many. I know.)
Roasted cauliflower. (Going to be on my recipe page! :D)

Dinner:
Uncle Toby's Oats.

Total: 348 calories.
Limit: 350 calories.


Tomorrow, I don't start work until 5pm, so I plan to get on the treadmill as soon as I wake up. Note the word plan.

The back of my legs are really tight today :\ Even though I do warm up and cool down exercises every time I workout..

I burnt about 464 calories at work. Not definite though. Could be more. Could be less.


Weight-loss today: 0.1kg (0.22 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 9.3kg (20.50 lb)
Weight: 61.8kg (136.24 lb)


If you can't hold on; hold on.
-Kayla <3

Thursday, 2 February 2012

ABC Day 33 - Disbelief

When I weighed in this morning, I had to weigh myself a few times. Just to make sure. I was in disbelief. But the number stayed the same. I only lost 0.1kg (0.22 lb) After a full day of fasting. What. The. Actual. Fugicals.

It's 9pm as I am typing this. I just had a scorching hot shower. It was nice, relaxed my muscles and made me sleepy and all ready for bed. :)

But for some reason I'm in a bit of a dull mood.. not sure why. I think I'm brightening up now. May have just been the hot shower. Bringing back memories of the dark days.

Didn't end up hanging with my friend. She bailed at the last minute. Whatever.

Not too much to update on today.


Food diary:

Breakfast:
2 thin rice cakes with vegemite.

Snacks:
3x cordial ice cups.
Plain thin rice cake.

Dinner:
1 piece of wholemeal toast.
Sweet chili sauce.
Egg white.
1 thin rice cake with vegemite.

Total: 229 calories.
Limit: 250 calories.

My sister found a cheap gym she is thinking about joining, if her fiance doesn't want to join with her then she asked me to :)  Not sure if I will, because I don't think she'd go very much.. (she's obese and not really active at all at the moment)

Oh! I worked out today :)  I burnt 126 calories :)  Most of it was strength training, with a little cardio. I'm trying to become more toned :)

Hopefully tomorrow I have lost something. Even 0.1kg would be fine. I'll be at a new LW if I lose :)

Weight-loss today: 0.1kg (0.22 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 9.2kg (20.28 lb)
Weight: 61.9kg (136.46 lb)


I won't stop until I'm there.
-Kayla <3

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

ABC Day 32 - Surprises

Oh how I love how easily I fasted today.
I work up. Went to work for 4 and a half hours (burning quite a few calories!) I then came home and was checking my social networking sites and what not. I then cooked dinner for the family, watched some tv, had a shower and now I am in bed typing this :)

I think working most of my day made it easy :) because I was distracted.
I was silly to think that I would have trouble fasting because I was working!

So calorie intake for today is 0. :D

Quick question; when you guys fast, do you only drink water or do you drink diet drinks, coffee, tea ect? 0 cal drinks? Because I only drink water. That is what fasting is to me.. But I know some people drink 0cal drinks.. I call that liquid fasting.. But idk :) I guess it's just preference or something.

I didn't do any exercise apart from work. How slack of me. I know.

Didn't even really get hungry today. Although my stomach did rumble at one stage during work. But it was right in the middle of a rush, so I soon forgot about it.

Tomorrow I am seeing someone that I haven't seen in months. I wonder if she'll notice my weightloss..

I didn't drink enough water today. The water at work tasted a bit funny today. The first few drinks I had during my shift were alright, but then I got another and it tasted funny. A little while later I was super thirsty s I got some more water and it still tasted funny. So I just waited until I got home. But then I got distracted by my iPad for a while. So yeah. I didn't drink much at all.

I actually lost weight. I can't believe that I did. I was 100% expecting to gain because it was such a high calorie difference to what I have been eating. I was honestly shocked when I saw the number.


Weight-loss today: 0.5kg (1.10 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 9.1kg (20.06 lb)
Weight: 62.0kg (136.68 lb)

Never underestimate your body.
-Kayla <3

Tuesday, 31 January 2012

ABC Day 31 - A full no binge month!

This is the first full month I have ever had that I haven't binged! Pretty proud of myself :) It's pretty terrible that it's the first month ever though. But I shall make many more :)

No binges next month either :)

Today was the almighty 800 calorie day. It's the end of the day, I'm in bed at the moment and my stomach is SO full. When I stand up it is just so uncomfortable how full I feel :/
But I stayed within my calorie limit, don't worry.
I'm kind of worried that I won't lose much weight on the rest of this diet. Because they're pretty high calorie days; compared to what I have been eating.

Didn't work out :/ but I did work for 6 or so hours.

Fasting tomorrow. So hopefully I lose anything I've gained.

Food diary:

Breakfast:
A piece of whole meal toast.

Lunch:
Salad.

Afternoon tea:
4x rice cakes.
Vegemite.
5 grapes.

Other snacks:
3x cordial ice cups.

Dinner:
Rice.
Korma sauce.

Total: 797 calories.
Limit: 800 calories.

I had gained when I weighed in this morning. :/


Weight-gain today: 0.6kg (1.32 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 8.6kg (18.95 lb)
Weight: 62.5kg (137.78 lb)


Stick with it until you get there.
-Kayla <3

Monday, 30 January 2012

ABC Day 30 - So close!

Only 20 days left of the ABC!

Today was good :)

I burnt 113 calories doing 26 minutes of EA Sports Active 2. :)

I'm going to exercise every second day. Burning at LEAST 100 calories. The other days I can either rest or go for a walk or something.
I plan to go for a walk tomorrow afternoon :)

Tonight, I'm wearing an old baggy t-shirt; my dad was like "you're getting bone-y." I was like "Um.. where? o.O What do you  mean?" He then pointed out my shoulder blades, shoulders (couldn't see my collar bones, but they're looking pretty amazing ;)) and how "skinny" my arms are. My arms aren't even skinny. But anyway. I was like "..maybe it's just because I'm wearing a baggy shirt?" He was like "maybe it is, but you do look bone-y"
It made me smile. Even though I don't see myself as thin or bone-y yet.

I washed my hair for the first time in like 5 days today. Normally it gets oily after 2 whole days and I have to wash it. But this time it didn't. It is SO dry. :S It worries me. I think I need to get some of them hair and nails vitimans..


Food diary:

Lunch:
14 grapes.

Dinner:
3 peices of wholemeal toast.
Slice of beetroot.
Lettuce.
Sweet chilli sauce.
2 egg whites.

Snacks:
3x cordial ice cups.

Total: 286 calories.
Limit: 300 calories.

Tomorrow is the big 800 calorie day :S  I'm not really eating that much though. Just having a higher calorie dinner really.

New LW again :D  I feel like I am going to put on when I weigh in, in the morning though. I don't know why. I think it's because my brain knows it was a higher calorie day, so it automatically assumes I'll put on. I do think I will though. I really hope I don't.

Weight-loss today: 0.1kg (0.22 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 9.2kg (20.28 lb)
Weight: 61.9kg (136.46)


Here's to the future and everything it will bring.
-Kayla <3

Sunday, 29 January 2012

ABC Day 29

At a new LW once again :D

I didn't exercise today.
I am ridiculously sore from yesterday's workout.
Definitely working out tomorrow. No matter what.

Food diary:

Lunch:
10 grapes.

Snacks:
2x cordial ice cups.
10 grapes.

Dinner:
Tomato cup of soup.
1 piece of wholemeal toast.

Total: 180 calories.
Limit: 200 calories.


Figuring out my food plan for the week starting on the 6th of February, at the moment. Lots of calories that week! It's making it difficult for me to find stuff to have actually haha :P o.O


Not too much to write about today..


Weight-loss today: 0.1kg (0.22 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 9.1kg (20.06 lb)
Weight: 62.0kg (136.68 lb)


It's never too late.
-Kayla <3

Saturday, 28 January 2012

ABC Day 28

Good day again :D

I actually exercised today :)

I did the shortest amount of time on the treadmill ever. But I did a workout on EA Games Sports Active. So yay :)
I burnt 144 calories. :)

Food diary:

Snacks:
4x cordial ice cups.

Dinner:
Uncle Toby's Oats Creamy Honey.

Total: 169 calories.
Limit: 200 calories.


Going to try and keep exercising everyday again.
I especially need to on Tuesday. The 800 calorie day.


The whole day I was watching cooking videos online. Is that weird? :P I'm not tempted by it. I just enjoy watching them for some reason.. o.O

Oh! New LW by the way! :D

Weight-loss today: 0.9kg (1.98 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 9.0kg (19.84 lb)
Weight: 62.1kg (136.90 lb)

Don't look back.
-Kayla <3

Friday, 27 January 2012

ABC Day 27

Today went well :)

I tried celery again. Still don't like it. Damn.

Didn't work out. Apart from 3 hours of work.

I just watched some videos from a few months ago. The weight-loss is clear. It's weird that I don't see it in person though. But when I see videos and pictures I'm like "wow".  At least now I know I've made progress :)

Today I've been trying to work out what I am going to eat in March after ABC and the end of February diet is over.. I'm really nervous that I am going to go in full on binge mode and put on all the weight again :\  I REALLY need a plan so I have control and not binge.

Food diary:

Snacks:
6x cordial ice cups.
Tiniest piece of celery ever.

Dinner:
Lettuce.
Coleslaw.

Total: 87 calories.
Limit: 100 calories.


Next week is going to pretty high calorie. The next two days is 200. Then I have a 300 day. Then the 800 day. Then I'm fasting the next day, I'm working the lunch rush that day, so I'm a little nervous, but I'm going to have to be alright.

Craving carbs at the moment. Which is super random. I don't know if I'm craving them, or it's just because I've been looking up recipes and I feel like cooking :P


Weight-loss today:  0kg (0 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 8.1kg (17.85 lb)
Weight: 63.0kg (138.89 lb)

"The world is ours, if we want it, we can take it."
-Kayla <3

Thursday, 26 January 2012

ABC Day 26 - Happy Australia Day!

Today was Australia Day. So my family had a BBQ in celebration.
I just had some lettuce and coleslaw. The meat didn't even appeal to me. I think I am going to carry on my vegetarianism even after February. :)

Today I worked for 4 hours. It was ridiculously busy! I didn't get a moment if rest! Public holidays are usually pretty busy though.

Food diary:

Lunch:
Lettuce.
Little but of coleslaw.

Snacks:
4x cordial ice cups.

Total: 50 calories.
Limit: 50 calories.

I burnt about 631 calories at work. So yay :)


My friend who I've only just started talking to again after months of no contact, is really into fitness and working out, at the moment. She is also a vegetarian. So we are hopefully going to work out together, and she is going to teach me how to cook some vegetarian meals and what not :)


Weight-loss today: 0.2kg (0.44lb)
ABC weight-loss: 8.1kg (17.85 lb)
Weight: 63.0kg (138.89 lb)


Don't give up.
-Kayla <3

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

ABC Day 25 - Half way there!

Half way through the ABC diet! :D

My weight went down again so yay :D

To mark the occasion I planned to post progress pictures. But Im still way too fat for that. I'll just post before during and ends pictures when I finish this diet :)

I will post my measurements though. Which have all gone down! :D

Waist: 68.6cm -7.5cm
Hips: 93.5cm -4.5 m
Thigh: 58cm -3cm
Upper arm: 28.5cm -4cm
Neck: 29.5cm -1.5cm
Calf: 33.5cm -1.5cm

The starting measurements were taken on the 14th of December 2011.

:D

Food diary:

Lunch:
Coleslaw.
Lettuce.

Dinner:
Coleslaw.
Lettuce.

Snack:
Cordial ice cup.

Total: 95 calories.
Limit: 100 calories.


Tomorrow is Australia day, my family is having a BBQ. So, that isn't going to be very much fun. I'm going to be asked why I'm not eating, not even salad. Because it's only a 50 calorie day tomorrow.

I'm working for 4 hours though. So yay for double time and a half! :D

I expect to have gained weight when I weigh in tomorrow, because I ate pretty late tonight. The only reason why I ate so late was because I had finished work at 8:30pm and I thought that I better eat something because I have work in the morning and I'm not going to be eating again until tomorrow night..

I always get really motivated to use the treadmill at night.. O.o but I need to get up early so I can't :/

Today was a pretty productive day though. I got most of my bookwork for work done (doing a certificate program) and trained a new crew person :)
Although that's pretty much all I did today.
Woke up.
Had a shower.
Took progress pictures.
Compared progress pictures (significant difference)
Had lunch.
Went to work.
Came home from work.
Had a shower.
Had dinner.
Wrote/writing blog.
Then it's bed time.

That was pretty random. But there you go :p

I keep imagining having a giant binge in March. Like fantasizing about it. I don't really want to do it though. I've decided to keep restricting until I'm at my UGW. Then I will allow myself to have a treat. Maybe. Idk. I just want to get to my UGW ASAP. That's all I know :)


WOW! Sorry for the gigantic post!


Keep holding on.
-Kayla <3

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

ABC Day 24

I don't even know.
I gained again.
I don't know why.
If I gain again tomorrow then wtf, I haven't eaten solids since 8:30am this morning..

Just a quick update today. Wanting to get to bed asap. Had to get up at 4:30am for work today.

Food diary:

Breakfast:
Wholemeal toast.

Lunch:
Salad.

Snacks:
3x cordial ice cups.

Total: 140 calories.
Limit: 150 calories.

Burnt calories at work. But didn't actually work out.


Weight gain today: 0.2kg (0.44 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 7.1kg (15.65 lb)
Weight: 64.0kg (141.09 lb)


Don't forget what this is for.
-Kayla <3

Monday, 23 January 2012

ABC Day 23

Today I gained.

I seriously don't know why. Because I didn't have solids after 11:30am.. So I really don't know.

I didn't exercise again today. I'm so frigging lazy. It makes me so angry. I just want to be able to exercise and exercise and exercise. But I'm so unfit and just gosh darn lazy. My goal for the week is to exercise more.

Food diary:

Breakfast: 
Wholemeal toast.
15 grapes.

Snacks:
2x cordial ice cups.

Dinner:
Wholemeal toast.
2 egg whites.
Sweet chilli sauce.

Total: 190 calories.
Limit: 200 calories.

I did burn calories at work today though. So at least that is something.

I'm noticing changes in my stomach and my thighs. Also my work pants are super duper loose :D They probably wouldn't stay up very long if I didn't wear a belt :)

I've been watching eating disorder movies yesterday and today. So if you know of any good ones, let me know :D


Weight gain today: +0.3kg (0.66 lb)
ABC weight-loss: 7.3kg (16.09 lb)
Weight: 63.8kg (140.65 lb)


Whenever in doubt, just keep believing.
-Kayla <3